i want to stay inside for good..
"Its just another day in the life of apes with ego trips..." and i really do.. life these past 3 to 4 days has been HORRIBLE, no other word to describe it.. sunday i got into an argument w my "father" about college and how my grades are sooo bad and all this other crap that i didnt listen to bc i would have seriously cried and i dont want to show him that.. he NEVER EVER sees the good in things NEVER has he done so and it just ruins his life and my life but im not going to let it.. thats what he wants to do but im not going to let him..i wrote him (my "father") a letter to tell him that we all say things out of angre and whatever and that if he tries to talk to me i will try to understand him but we both had to work at it and then i added a PS bc bryan asked me to go eat w him sunday night and i thought he wouldnt think i wrote him the note BC of bryan well guess what? all he had to say was why did i write him a note? to ask him if i could go out? i so knew that he was going to have something bad to say about it.. im such an idiot and according to him i turned out soooo bad.. then why the fuck am i still here?? if im such a bad fucking person why am i here? i might just end up living w my grandma and im really really thinking about doing it since im going to visit her in july i might just stay forever there.. he even told me i could so im going to do it.. i dont want to live here anymore.. to be told that im an unwanted child? well thats just too fucking bad.. im so pissed off! i dont know why im still here.. i hate life and life hates me..