Private to Nicolaiein_engelJanuary 25 2006, 00:34:52 UTC
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How can I judge you for that, when I had my own father, crawling on his stomach, covered in blood, begging for me, to help him? I killed him because he called me Mary--after I told him not to. Heh, his last words were 'help me, Mary, help me become a god'. I'm nothing but a cold-blooded killer in his death. How can I judge you for wanting to do away your own father? After all you've been through? I am not the one to condemn you. I won't look down at you for what you have done.
I have faith in you that you will do what is right and what is needed. So, whatever you do, whatever you want--I will believe it is for good intentions...because you are a good man. You have supported me in my darkest hours and been supportive no matter what. Your kind and thoughtless. It's not evil or anything...no child deserves to be neglected by their father and no mother deserves that, too!
Private to Lady_cardinalsin_January 25 2006, 01:12:40 UTC
I'm not quite sure you understand.
I didn't tell you all this for your support; I wanted you to know exactly all of the dealings which you encouraged me to work through previously. You said that I think about the way I am treated while in these situations and that maybe things would be better off if I were in more control. Even if you didn't quite mean what I came up with, I took it all to heart and have come to a conclusion.
I am now in the process of disconnecting myself from everything from the old life of being Rapustin's minion.
Private to Lady_cardinalsin_January 25 2006, 01:31:23 UTC
If you were really a cold-blooded killer then I do not believe this would have lasted as long as it has.
Ah, Lady, I did not mean you or the way you have treated me at all. You have always been a kind and enjoyable person and that is why I hope the best for you in your future endeavors.
And, yes, we've gotten close - and it's nice of you to say those words and everything - but I have already concluded that it is best to end it here. Come now, it's best to be sensible about these things and not cling; it will only negate the vision I always had that you are a strong woman. It has been a fairly pleasant time with you, but perhaps we are simply not meant to stay together.
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How can I judge you for that, when I had my own father, crawling on his stomach, covered in blood, begging for me, to help him? I killed him because he called me Mary--after I told him not to. Heh, his last words were 'help me, Mary, help me become a god'. I'm nothing but a cold-blooded killer in his death. How can I judge you for wanting to do away your own father? After all you've been through? I am not the one to condemn you. I won't look down at you for what you have done.
I have faith in you that you will do what is right and what is needed. So, whatever you do, whatever you want--I will believe it is for good intentions...because you are a good man. You have supported me in my darkest hours and been supportive no matter what. Your kind and thoughtless. It's not evil or anything...no child deserves to be neglected by their father and no mother deserves that, too!
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I still care about you.
Reply
I didn't tell you all this for your support; I wanted you to know exactly all of the dealings which you encouraged me to work through previously. You said that I think about the way I am treated while in these situations and that maybe things would be better off if I were in more control. Even if you didn't quite mean what I came up with, I took it all to heart and have come to a conclusion.
I am now in the process of disconnecting myself from everything from the old life of being Rapustin's minion.
That includes you.
Reply
And I wanted you to know what you supported me on. It was comparison, nothing more...Because I am nothing but a cold-blooded killer.
Now what do you mean by the way you have been treated? I never treated you illy, Nicolai. I never have...and I never will....
....I have gotten so close to you.
I love you......
No, you're not thinking right....
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Reply
Ah, Lady, I did not mean you or the way you have treated me at all. You have always been a kind and enjoyable person and that is why I hope the best for you in your future endeavors.
And, yes, we've gotten close - and it's nice of you to say those words and everything - but I have already concluded that it is best to end it here. Come now, it's best to be sensible about these things and not cling; it will only negate the vision I always had that you are a strong woman. It has been a fairly pleasant time with you, but perhaps we are simply not meant to stay together.
And I'm thinking clearer than normal, thank you.
Reply
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