rambling on
so uyyes me and steven have been together for about a year and 3months i guess. We love eachother and welp i can depend on him and trust him but sometimes i think i need something more from him...we've been realy good the last couple weeks and like for some reason when we will do realy good something in my head makes me screw things up...not to bad but i probily hurt my beeb so i have aloy to work on but like hes guna be 18 and have colledge sure he can go to macomb to start off but something scares me like in the future i wont be able to rely or depend on him. SO my hearts in all kinds of spots and im just hoping god leads me to the right spot. Ether way we love eachother and welp my theory is if you realy love someone yer never going to stop,... if ya move on theirs still a chunk of yer heart in that same old spot. With other news...I work at american eagle i guess you could say. I get the discounts but i havent realy worked a day yet besides meetings and oriantation. im also frightend of jobs and dont no what to do. But i do clean my friends house and his mommy pays me weekely not including state fair ill make round 450 fer 2 weeks...plus 40-60 every sunday fer lions game babysitting! Im love steven but i tend to think my heart isnt ready for him to realy love me i mean i know i can love someone but im so afrriad of being loved cuz i dont want to hurt anyone. And by gollly i would never want to be hurt. i love god though and he is my father and my best friend.. He is before anyone or thing in my life. like lj or myspacxe or seeven or my friends. Its cool cuz you can always depend on him or ask him questions he'l never hurt you and things will always work out no matter what. Maybe not the way you woulda liked them too but the way their suppost to. Cuz god created me and knows exaclt how my game is played and story ends. Cingular seriously has the most dropped calls ever. I miss my grandpa alot. I wnet camping with seeve alyssa and nino jeff and franki. Fun a tornado came i went to a water park. I survived in a tent life and little showers. Survived a way home with way too much flirtage that i could not handle for the life of me. I got my haiir cut once again at borics but i guess i realy like it. i played bowling with dustin denn and marler today wiithch was fun. We visited Rocky for a bit witch was wierd with no jeffbut accualy wasnt that wierd cuz im with them very much.i shoiwerd in the lake a bunch a times and it was fun and funny. I HATE when your mind keeps thinking about how things could be in diff. situations and you no you shouldnt be thinking about sertin things and you keep thinking about them. I need to stop cuz its hurting even my own feelings but im afraid sometone else is right. im scared of jobs but i love tiger woods so much THE vidio game not him accauly. i realized im not even friends with kim r anymore and im accauly fine with it ive enjoyed myself and have had no dramma or let downs or worrys sept steven and me sometimes abut steven is such a good boyfriend t9 me n wwe lovew eachother forever. or do we i hope but its up to my dad up above. and we will see what happends. but i wana marry steven as soon as i can nd that cant happen cuz we will be so young and hed never be able to supposrt me. so i hope stevens the right one for me considering im relay scared latly but i think the devil is just getting to me. Oh yeah and one of my best friends is at camp and i hope he is having fun cuz hes guna have and come back to an ex who might hurt him again. ANother best budd is ayt camp and its probily the best timing for her and imn excited to see whow gods guna shine in her life and eveerything. i love the people im close with but i wana helo them stay away from these bad things right pee head. yeah um this enty was like more for me and to let things out sence my girls gone at camp but yeah. love god love me love seeven