georgie is gone
Holy whoa it's been a while. Things got crazy for a while. Not crazy bad, just crazy busy.
Recap:
Thanksgiving break was fabulous. It was so nice to be home and EAT SO MUCH CRAP. Of course now I'm feeling all depressed and scared to go within 3 feet of my scale, but that's beside the point. It was also nice to be able to see my boyfriend lots and share some QUALITY time with him. I did say quality, yes? Oh it was awesome.
Speaking of Chris, it's weird. I've discovered that I'm an insomnaic and he's a narcoleptic. Very interesting combination if you ask me. He works so much and his hours are crazy, so he's always tired by the time I can see him and he always falls asleep on me. I mean, it's wonderful to be able to spend time with him and everything, but I wish he was awake too! It's not really to the point that it's frustrating, it's just something that I've noticed within the past week or so. I know I'm being selfish though. I see him a lot, at least 3 days out of the week which is REALLY good since he works full time and goes to school full time. Such a trooper. I just need to be empathetic of the fact that the man is TIRED at the end of the day. On the weekends we spend Friday and Sunday ALL DAY together, so it's not so bad. AH I love him.
School is okay, I just want it to end...desperately. I wanted to leave this place in September, now I just feel like everyday I'm here it's like a huge nail scratch on the chalkboard. TORTURE I tell you. I think a lot of it is feeling like I'm cut off from the world when I'm here. I don't really socialize because I feel weird and out of place here, which obviously doesn't help. I'm getting along with my roommates which is good, and I have a handful of friends which is good, but blah. It's nothing like my UMass friends or my friends at home. Being here makes me miss them so much more. Barb has been in France for the whole semester, and the last time I talked to her (which was over 2 months ago, and it was online) she was bummed because this guy she had a crush on didn't really like her back. DUUUUUUUDE you're in FRANCE!!! WHO CARES about guys??? It wasn't even a French guy either, it was some kid who went on the study abroad program from her school. Ah, oh well. I miss her like crazy and I can't wait until she comes home. I miss my UMass friends like crazy. It's so hard to visit them too because I work on Saturdays which puts a huge stake in any possible weekend plans, and Amherst is so far away. It's not like I could just go there for the afternoon or something. I just don't want to lose touch with them. They're so important to me.
Family. Yes, there's some weird shit going on there. My mom is WAY WAY WAY over her head in everything. She has too much on her plate that she's neglecting the most important things, like her kids. My little brothers have turned into complete monsters because my mother doesn't care anymore. Being with her own kids is a chore for her, I know it. She's relieved when they go to their father's house every other weekend. She doesn't help them with school anymore. My seven year old brother can't even read yet and she won't help him learn. She doesn't cook. She doesn't clean. She doesn't pay the bills (She "forgot" to pay my UMass bill and now I have credit people all over me...I can't even open a savings account at the bank! It's not her money that she has to pay my tuition with either. It's a long story). There's always new projects that she and Paul (her fiancee) are starting around the house (building a new deck, turning the basement into a "fun room", etc.) but they can't even handle the stuff they have to do NOW. The pets don't get fed or bathed or walked just because there's no time. She works so much and she has two classes that she's just...drowning. I talked to Janina for a long time about this today, and I decided that I need to help her. I'm 20 years old, and I'm her daughter and I love her. There's no reason why I can't help her out a little. Even if I just take one thing out of her hands so she doesn't have to worry, like taking care of the pets. This will obviously be easier once I'm home for the semester. Or maybe even just keeping track of the bills. They're all just kind of thrown out of the house...they need to be kept in once spot and neatly in order with the due dates written on everything so nothing's late. I don't know the last time she sent in a bill on time. I need to clean the house, do the laundry, just all those stupid things that take up so much time but NEED to be done. I'll even be willing to help my brothers with school if they actually cared to listen to me. They are MONSTERS. That's the major problem right now. They need some help seriously. My mom denies everything and tries to blame it on ADD, but it's because they don't have structure. All they do is play rated M war games on Playstation all day. They don't do their homework. They don't eat real meals so they're getting fat and unhealthy. GOD this all makes me SO SO SO SAD. I need to help. I don't want my family to fall apart.
I can't let my mom live like this, I can't let my brothers live like this, and I can't live like this.
AHHHHHHHHHHH I feel better. I love LJ :)
Recap:
Thanksgiving break was fabulous. It was so nice to be home and EAT SO MUCH CRAP. Of course now I'm feeling all depressed and scared to go within 3 feet of my scale, but that's beside the point. It was also nice to be able to see my boyfriend lots and share some QUALITY time with him. I did say quality, yes? Oh it was awesome.
Speaking of Chris, it's weird. I've discovered that I'm an insomnaic and he's a narcoleptic. Very interesting combination if you ask me. He works so much and his hours are crazy, so he's always tired by the time I can see him and he always falls asleep on me. I mean, it's wonderful to be able to spend time with him and everything, but I wish he was awake too! It's not really to the point that it's frustrating, it's just something that I've noticed within the past week or so. I know I'm being selfish though. I see him a lot, at least 3 days out of the week which is REALLY good since he works full time and goes to school full time. Such a trooper. I just need to be empathetic of the fact that the man is TIRED at the end of the day. On the weekends we spend Friday and Sunday ALL DAY together, so it's not so bad. AH I love him.
School is okay, I just want it to end...desperately. I wanted to leave this place in September, now I just feel like everyday I'm here it's like a huge nail scratch on the chalkboard. TORTURE I tell you. I think a lot of it is feeling like I'm cut off from the world when I'm here. I don't really socialize because I feel weird and out of place here, which obviously doesn't help. I'm getting along with my roommates which is good, and I have a handful of friends which is good, but blah. It's nothing like my UMass friends or my friends at home. Being here makes me miss them so much more. Barb has been in France for the whole semester, and the last time I talked to her (which was over 2 months ago, and it was online) she was bummed because this guy she had a crush on didn't really like her back. DUUUUUUUDE you're in FRANCE!!! WHO CARES about guys??? It wasn't even a French guy either, it was some kid who went on the study abroad program from her school. Ah, oh well. I miss her like crazy and I can't wait until she comes home. I miss my UMass friends like crazy. It's so hard to visit them too because I work on Saturdays which puts a huge stake in any possible weekend plans, and Amherst is so far away. It's not like I could just go there for the afternoon or something. I just don't want to lose touch with them. They're so important to me.
Family. Yes, there's some weird shit going on there. My mom is WAY WAY WAY over her head in everything. She has too much on her plate that she's neglecting the most important things, like her kids. My little brothers have turned into complete monsters because my mother doesn't care anymore. Being with her own kids is a chore for her, I know it. She's relieved when they go to their father's house every other weekend. She doesn't help them with school anymore. My seven year old brother can't even read yet and she won't help him learn. She doesn't cook. She doesn't clean. She doesn't pay the bills (She "forgot" to pay my UMass bill and now I have credit people all over me...I can't even open a savings account at the bank! It's not her money that she has to pay my tuition with either. It's a long story). There's always new projects that she and Paul (her fiancee) are starting around the house (building a new deck, turning the basement into a "fun room", etc.) but they can't even handle the stuff they have to do NOW. The pets don't get fed or bathed or walked just because there's no time. She works so much and she has two classes that she's just...drowning. I talked to Janina for a long time about this today, and I decided that I need to help her. I'm 20 years old, and I'm her daughter and I love her. There's no reason why I can't help her out a little. Even if I just take one thing out of her hands so she doesn't have to worry, like taking care of the pets. This will obviously be easier once I'm home for the semester. Or maybe even just keeping track of the bills. They're all just kind of thrown out of the house...they need to be kept in once spot and neatly in order with the due dates written on everything so nothing's late. I don't know the last time she sent in a bill on time. I need to clean the house, do the laundry, just all those stupid things that take up so much time but NEED to be done. I'll even be willing to help my brothers with school if they actually cared to listen to me. They are MONSTERS. That's the major problem right now. They need some help seriously. My mom denies everything and tries to blame it on ADD, but it's because they don't have structure. All they do is play rated M war games on Playstation all day. They don't do their homework. They don't eat real meals so they're getting fat and unhealthy. GOD this all makes me SO SO SO SAD. I need to help. I don't want my family to fall apart.
I can't let my mom live like this, I can't let my brothers live like this, and I can't live like this.
AHHHHHHHHHHH I feel better. I love LJ :)