(no subject)
you are the only thing that makes me want to love at all
how scary is it that I only now realized I've been at the bottom of a depressive cycle for weeks? not just sinking, sunk. I have been treating myself with my drug of choice, trying to smoke away all the screaming & tearing inside... and now I have pulled a muscle in my back from coughing so much... it hurts to breathe & to stretch & most of all, to cry...
I have never been a very good person and I am starting to get sick of it costing me people I care so much about.
I'M SO SORRY, I NEVER MEANT TO DO ANY OF THIS, I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU
please, don't hate me...
I HATE YOU!!!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??? DON'T YOU CARE AT ALL? WAS IT ALL BULLSHIT THEN? YOU TOOK PITY ON ME? FUCK YOU!!!!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU...
but only because I love you...
how scary is it that I only now realized I've been at the bottom of a depressive cycle for weeks? not just sinking, sunk. I have been treating myself with my drug of choice, trying to smoke away all the screaming & tearing inside... and now I have pulled a muscle in my back from coughing so much... it hurts to breathe & to stretch & most of all, to cry...
I have never been a very good person and I am starting to get sick of it costing me people I care so much about.
I'M SO SORRY, I NEVER MEANT TO DO ANY OF THIS, I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU
please, don't hate me...
I HATE YOU!!!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??? DON'T YOU CARE AT ALL? WAS IT ALL BULLSHIT THEN? YOU TOOK PITY ON ME? FUCK YOU!!!!!!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU...
but only because I love you...