Bray let himself be dragged upstairs, this wasn't going to be easy... but he had to go. How could he stay here, if only for a while he had to be away from this place
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Amber sighed. Bray's apology had softened her a little, she just couldn't understand his wanting to leave when surely the place to find answers was right in the Mall. "Ved's a former Techno. In case you didn't notice the stamp mark on his hand, he's a Mall Rat now. Siva and Jay are former Technos too, not to mention all the ex members of the Chosen, including our city leader Salene. You can't judge people on their past all the time Bray, you should know that. Look at Trudy, former supreme mother. Two years ago would you have trusted her looking after your son?"
"Ved's tried to prove himself to be a tribe member by helping, and yes, he went about it in a bad way but if faced with the same decision again knwoing Ram was involved I'd still want Ved to make you better. Maybe that's selfish of me, but I couldn't bear to see you that way. I can't even begin to tell you how frightening it was seeing you like that. . . "
Amber turned and went and sat on the end of the bed, facing away from Bray. "Just please don't leave me again Bray. That's all I'm asking." Amber felt her sadness swell at the thought of being without Bray again, and tried to swallow down her tears.
"I don't trust Jay or Ved... how do we know they're not upto something? Just because they won a publicity contest that means they get to call this place," he gestured the mall again, "home."
"I'm not leaving for good... but I don't feel I can stay here... I'm sorry for that. I doubt I'm welcome by most people anyway." He knew he was clutching at straws, but he had to go, and he had to make Amber see that it was for the best.
"That's nonsense and you know it Bray. People here respect you, care about you, most of them were so worried for you before Ved made you better. They all wanted to help you recover. If you walk out now, when you return your problems will still be here when you get back."
"Amber stood, and went over to Bray, wrapping her arms around him from behind and holding him close to her. "As for Jay and Ved, well, trust has to be earnt. Ved, I still don't trust him, but I do trust Jay. I don't blame you if you don't, but you ought to give him a chance. He had no idea of most of the things Ram was doing, especially regarding the human test subjects for VR. He joined the Mall Rats' side after I showed him a video of what really went on behind his back. He hates Ram now, almost as much as you or I. But, as I said, trust has to be earnt, and it can't be done if you're miles away brooding with the Gaians."
Bray frowned but his hand went up to where hers were on his stomach, the small touch brought him comfort, though he couldn't shake the thoughts and jealousy he felt about Jay. She'd gotten too close to him, what was their relationship anyway? Trudy had told him that she thought they'd fallen in love, and Bray knew he and Amber were nothing now, but it lingered in the back of his mind. Did he really want to abandon Amber and leave her here with Jay? Bray turned, pulling Amber close to him, "Then come with me Amber. We'll get away, we'll go to the Eco's, just me and you and the baby," he frowned though, remembering that he wasn't sure he was really healthy again. Sure he'd felt normal the last couple of days, the voices that had plagued his brain when he'd been locked in that cage were gone, and Bray knew who he was, and he remembered the truth, everything, he remembered everything. Bray reached a hand up and ran the backs of his fingers along Amber's cheek, "I don't want to hurt anyone, I'm scared Amber, if Ram had a hand in my recovery, who's to say he didn't add something just as sinister as my Brother's memories in the back of it all? How can we be sure if I can't even trust myself?"
Amber frowned a little. Going to stay with the Gaians would be a nice break for the two of them, but it still smacked of running away to her. "You know I'd go anywhere in the world with you if I had to Bray, but you know that we belong here right now. the Mall Rats are our family, the people you want to be around if anything is wrong or if you need help."
As Bray's hand gently stroked her cheek, Amber stroked his tummy slightly. "Believe me, if you're brother's memories were still in there, then we'd know. It wasn't exactly subtle." Amber gave a slight shudder thinking about the incident where Bray had to be shot down. That would definately be something to talk about another time when feelings weren't so raw. "Trusting yourself is something that will come in time. Running away to the Gaians won't help you trust yourself any further, it'll just be a way of avoiding dealing with this. If it helps you any, I trust you."
"You do?" Bray looked away, thinking it over, she was right, running away wouldn't help him, going to the Gaian's wouldn't teach him to trust himself, he'd get there and distrust himself with the Gaian's too. There was also the possibility that if he was still affected by what had happened to him, he could hurt the Eco's, and that would do no good either. Bray frowned and looked back at Amber, he had to just be tough, and if anything began to go awry, he knew the Tribe would take him down and lock him up. "If I do anything wrong, anything strange, promise me," he stopped and took her hands in his, pulling them up and kissing the fingers, "swear you'll lock me up again. I will understand, it's what I want," his eyes pleaded with her, searching her face. His moods were swinging wildly, one minute he was happy and content to be here with Amber and their family, the next he wanted to run away, and then he was back to needing to live in the Mall with his family again. Bray pressed a soft kiss to Amber's lips, holding her there before pulling away, "I'm so glad I have you, I don't want us to ever be apart again," he told her honestly, his eyes locked onto her pretty face.
Amber reached up to gently stroke Bray's cheek, and kissed him softly. "Of course I trust you. More than anyone else." She kissed Bray again. Pulling back and looking into his eyes, Amber could see how worried he was. Amber stroekd the worry lines on his forhead. "You don't have to be scared Bray, you've got me to look out for you, and I won't let anyone hurt you, or you hurt anyone else, ok? And as for locking you in a cage, if it was neccessary, I'd do it. I don't like the idea of it, but if it's what you want then fair enough."
Amber wrapped her arms around Bray again, leaning her head against him and deeply sighed. It was so good to have him back with her, and she was relieved that he seemed convinced of staying now. "I don't want us to be apart again either, so no running off to the Gaians, no walking around the city on your own, and definately none of this without talking to me first, ok?" Amber looked up at Bray, with one eyebrow raised, and a slight mischievious smile on her face.
Bray watched her talking, the way the light played off of her eyes, the stretch of her smile on her face, he couldn't help but return a smile to her, his heart skipped a beat and he felt as if she was turning the darkness into light right in front of him. He groaned when she forbade him to go to the Gaian's, or to even walk around the city alone, and while he was normally prone to protesting about things like that, being fiercely independent on his own, he didn't want to upset her either. The last few times he'd gone out into the city alone had not been good adventures, he'd gotten abducted, beat up, he'd killed a man, though that wasn't the city.
Of course, he remembered the meeting with Moz when his head wasn't completely screwed on, though it played in his memories like a bad movie, he could clearly hear the conversation. How would he explain that to the City? The great Mall Rat leader, going to the enemy calling for their own downfall. Of course, at the time, he'd also been fighting it, intent on bringing Moz into a trap, her and her entire Tribe and turning the tables on them, make them guilty for things, to bring them down. These memories gave him a sharp pain in his head and his hand flew up to his forehead, pressing against his eyebrow, "Gah," but it passed quickly and he shook his head, refocusing his eyes.
"I know I've rested all week, but I think I'll need a nap later, I still feel somewhat tired," he confessed, avoiding making her the promise he wouldn't go out without her, or alone. He couldn't promise that, if it came down to protecting the Tribe or his own safety, he had to do what he had to do. Of course, he wasn't the leader of the Mall Rats right now, his girl and Salene were, but that was ok with him too. This thought reminded him that he needed to talk to Salene, alone, to apologize.
The chat yesterday had been so distant, how are you feeling, have you had enough to eat, does the baby keep you awake, are you getting enough rest, and when he asked her any questions or tried to bring up their time together, she so quickly changed the subject his head had spun. He had to talk to her today, to set things straight and apologize, they'd been through too much together in that place to turn on each other now.
"Ved's tried to prove himself to be a tribe member by helping, and yes, he went about it in a bad way but if faced with the same decision again knwoing Ram was involved I'd still want Ved to make you better. Maybe that's selfish of me, but I couldn't bear to see you that way. I can't even begin to tell you how frightening it was seeing you like that. . . "
Amber turned and went and sat on the end of the bed, facing away from Bray. "Just please don't leave me again Bray. That's all I'm asking." Amber felt her sadness swell at the thought of being without Bray again, and tried to swallow down her tears.
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"I'm not leaving for good... but I don't feel I can stay here... I'm sorry for that. I doubt I'm welcome by most people anyway." He knew he was clutching at straws, but he had to go, and he had to make Amber see that it was for the best.
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"Amber stood, and went over to Bray, wrapping her arms around him from behind and holding him close to her. "As for Jay and Ved, well, trust has to be earnt. Ved, I still don't trust him, but I do trust Jay. I don't blame you if you don't, but you ought to give him a chance. He had no idea of most of the things Ram was doing, especially regarding the human test subjects for VR. He joined the Mall Rats' side after I showed him a video of what really went on behind his back. He hates Ram now, almost as much as you or I. But, as I said, trust has to be earnt, and it can't be done if you're miles away brooding with the Gaians."
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As Bray's hand gently stroked her cheek, Amber stroked his tummy slightly. "Believe me, if you're brother's memories were still in there, then we'd know. It wasn't exactly subtle." Amber gave a slight shudder thinking about the incident where Bray had to be shot down. That would definately be something to talk about another time when feelings weren't so raw. "Trusting yourself is something that will come in time. Running away to the Gaians won't help you trust yourself any further, it'll just be a way of avoiding dealing with this. If it helps you any, I trust you."
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Amber wrapped her arms around Bray again, leaning her head against him and deeply sighed. It was so good to have him back with her, and she was relieved that he seemed convinced of staying now. "I don't want us to be apart again either, so no running off to the Gaians, no walking around the city on your own, and definately none of this without talking to me first, ok?" Amber looked up at Bray, with one eyebrow raised, and a slight mischievious smile on her face.
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Of course, he remembered the meeting with Moz when his head wasn't completely screwed on, though it played in his memories like a bad movie, he could clearly hear the conversation. How would he explain that to the City? The great Mall Rat leader, going to the enemy calling for their own downfall. Of course, at the time, he'd also been fighting it, intent on bringing Moz into a trap, her and her entire Tribe and turning the tables on them, make them guilty for things, to bring them down. These memories gave him a sharp pain in his head and his hand flew up to his forehead, pressing against his eyebrow, "Gah," but it passed quickly and he shook his head, refocusing his eyes.
"I know I've rested all week, but I think I'll need a nap later, I still feel somewhat tired," he confessed, avoiding making her the promise he wouldn't go out without her, or alone. He couldn't promise that, if it came down to protecting the Tribe or his own safety, he had to do what he had to do. Of course, he wasn't the leader of the Mall Rats right now, his girl and Salene were, but that was ok with him too. This thought reminded him that he needed to talk to Salene, alone, to apologize.
The chat yesterday had been so distant, how are you feeling, have you had enough to eat, does the baby keep you awake, are you getting enough rest, and when he asked her any questions or tried to bring up their time together, she so quickly changed the subject his head had spun. He had to talk to her today, to set things straight and apologize, they'd been through too much together in that place to turn on each other now.
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