psh
Alright. What up EL JAY. I've missed you like woah, but I'm not going to say that I'm going to write in here a lot. Because I probably won't. II just need to get some things off of my chest, and I couldn't decide which xanga to write in, and people might have subscriptions, I dunno, so yeah. Myspace is too public. SO its back to Dane Cook. Wish I had Jennifer to change it, but I'll live. So. Point being. Well there is no point so I'll just keep talking. So, tell me, what is the point of being in love with someone who you tried to get over, and it didn't work FOR YOU, because he moved on, and is very happy, and you are happy for them, so you don't say anything, yet you don't lie because you could never straight up lie to them, so you keep shut about all of your feelings, first of all because there may be, no, IS NO point, the only thing that would come from it, is that they would feel bad, and be unhappy. And you don't want that, in any shape or form. So you keep quiet. You don't say a word to anyone how you think about said person constantly, even though you try your hardest not to, and how you sit in every class while people talk and all you can think about is them, which is pathetic. Your just friends, good friends, thats all you'll ever be. And you accept that. But your heart can't. So you tell a couple people. You feel a little better. But no details, nothing about how much you think about things, how badly you feel when you lie down to sleep knowing that he's not thinking about you, because he has a life, and a love. Not you. So one day you break down, try to end it all, not just because of them but other things, and then you regret it. Again. You try to get your life in place. Things start to look up. Everything starts to look up, except everything that has to do with them in your life. Which is almost everything. So. You keep it all to yourself, because it is best. You've learned not to run your mouth, because it hurts people. They don't need to feel guilty about something they can't control. So. You play it off to everyone that its all peachy. You. You are his escape. Besides her. You are the hyper, laid back, not-a-care-in-the-world friend. Thats good. Your not lying, you feel that way around him. It's when you part that you think. And you long to talk to him again, and its pathetic. So what do you do? I don't know. Look around school for another guy? You try. You run into your so-called first love, who you met before your real first love. You don't talk to him. He doesn't talk to you. End of story. So now what do you do? Concentrate on school. What, no social life? Somewhat. What? That's pathetic. I know. You do have friends, though, but thats no good when you can't go out anywhere and do stuff with them. So. Look, more time to compare yourself to her and try to fix your imperfections. What fun. More time to think about what you can't have. So. Now what do you do? Try and live life, I guess. Be happy for what you have, because someone always has it worse than you. Okay. I feel better, even though i promised myself I'd never do this. Oh well. Least I didn't go "OMG IM CRYING NOW JDSKFJSDLKJFKSDJFKLD AHHHH THE SKY IS FALLING WHY DOESNT HE TALK TO MEEEEEEE". Haha.