A Night To Remember
This is the second time im gonna have to do this update cuz my comps decided to be a bitch.I havent updated in awhile eh?Well cuz things were all up in the air and i didnt wanna write something in the heat of the moment that i was later going to look back on with disgust.I kno im a fukin spaz.
Oh also don't read on if u dont like to listen to swooney girl rants.
So cole came over yesterday.I picked him up round 3pm *i was late by an hour go me*.He was wearing his "vote for pedro" t-shirt so that got me laughin for a good chunk of time.dad dropped us off at the house and went to do random things that dad does.Honestly,i was scared that it would just be this big ackward fest with us just staring at one another.Or that he'd expect me to randomly have sex with him or something.I was not gonna lose my virginity that way thank u very much.But ykno it all turned out.Wen we first got to my room we just sat and talked about useless stuff.Him making me laugh at his stupid stories.Me making him get all flustered with my sarcastic remarks.We then watched the movie Hardball all curled up and cuddling.Half way thru the movie we started to fool around and suddenly second base.Well second base for me.Dont worry im not gonna put unwanted details in here.But ykno we never kissed once during that and he didnt pressure me to do anything.And afterwards we just sat there cuddling.Not saying ackward words,not giving eachother the whole "Oh im done with u now watch as i try to casually leave u".It was so different from anything that ive done.After that we played truth.it got really in-depth and personal.Me talking about my past,him talking about his past.Wen we weren't talking we were cuddling or goofing off.He had this fascination with where i was ticklish,which is practically everywhere.I think that was wat led into the whole blindfolded thing.He placed a pillow over my eyes and i was laughin about how i couldnt see anything and all of the sudden he kisses me.It was exactly wat a first kiss should be.Shy,unsure,tender.*melts* From then on the blindfolded game became "our game" lol his words not mine.Ykno wat i really enjoyed?The fact that the kisses didnt have to lead to something more.We didnt have to make out for a few minutes every time our lips touched.God i love his lips.mmmm wat else?Well we spent a lot of time just laying next to one another watching much music.I mentioned to him that i loved laying on him cuz he was comfy and he says well i love how loveable and adorable u are.I kno completly mushy rite?im such a sucker for that stuff.He also asked me unexpectantly how i'd show someone that i loved them.I was caught off guard so i just ranmbled about showering the person with attention and affection.He kept doing that all nite.Saying things that would just throw me off balance.Like he kept saying how happy he was at that moment and how he wanted it to last forever.By midnite he had decided to stay the nite.I didnt even ask my dad and why should i?Im practically 18.If i want a guy to stay over im gonna have one stay over.Plus dad totally trusts me so w/e.I guess probably cuz i was tired i suddenly got all sentimental and while my head was resting on his stomach i told him i didnt wanna leave here yet.Didnt wanna go to england.and he just looks at me and says "I dont want u to leave either"So i get all teary eyed and he just holds me and tells me not to cry.Ya wanna hear something else thats over the top mushy?He kept placing my hand between both his hands saying it was like an oreo and i was the creamy centre.haha.So anyways we spent practically the whole nite cuddled up to one another.Around like 5am i think he got this huge pain in his stomach and i had to like hold him and strock his hair to calm him down.I love touching him,i love placing kisses in random spots,and even tho i startles me i like catching him staring at me as i fall asleep.In the morning he had to be home before his mom spazed and i had to pick up a letter tam printed off for me so we dropped him off round noon.Ykno dad didnt say anything to me about the sleeping over really.He wasn't mad,wasn't disappointed,he just said to cole "wat are ur intentions with my daughter?" which i think was one of the most embarrasing moments of my entire life.lol.Cole just sat there and kinda nervously laughed.God I loved last nite.
Ykno i guess ppl expect us to be something more.Put a label to us and truthfully i dont want that.I dont wanna be bf/gf.i like where we are.As long as hes not using me im quite content.Just hanging out,no pressure to be perfect.Its bliss.I have no idea wat he thinks we are rite now and i dont care.Christ,i dont even kno wat we are.Putting a name to this would just complicate things.make leaving him in a month harder.Im already going to be crying wen i say goodbye to everyone why add more unnecessary tears?*sighs* I dont kno,im so blank rite now.
Well i think this entry's long enuf so i'll header to bed.Hope i didnt cause to much gagging.nite y'all.
Oh also don't read on if u dont like to listen to swooney girl rants.
So cole came over yesterday.I picked him up round 3pm *i was late by an hour go me*.He was wearing his "vote for pedro" t-shirt so that got me laughin for a good chunk of time.dad dropped us off at the house and went to do random things that dad does.Honestly,i was scared that it would just be this big ackward fest with us just staring at one another.Or that he'd expect me to randomly have sex with him or something.I was not gonna lose my virginity that way thank u very much.But ykno it all turned out.Wen we first got to my room we just sat and talked about useless stuff.Him making me laugh at his stupid stories.Me making him get all flustered with my sarcastic remarks.We then watched the movie Hardball all curled up and cuddling.Half way thru the movie we started to fool around and suddenly second base.Well second base for me.Dont worry im not gonna put unwanted details in here.But ykno we never kissed once during that and he didnt pressure me to do anything.And afterwards we just sat there cuddling.Not saying ackward words,not giving eachother the whole "Oh im done with u now watch as i try to casually leave u".It was so different from anything that ive done.After that we played truth.it got really in-depth and personal.Me talking about my past,him talking about his past.Wen we weren't talking we were cuddling or goofing off.He had this fascination with where i was ticklish,which is practically everywhere.I think that was wat led into the whole blindfolded thing.He placed a pillow over my eyes and i was laughin about how i couldnt see anything and all of the sudden he kisses me.It was exactly wat a first kiss should be.Shy,unsure,tender.*melts* From then on the blindfolded game became "our game" lol his words not mine.Ykno wat i really enjoyed?The fact that the kisses didnt have to lead to something more.We didnt have to make out for a few minutes every time our lips touched.God i love his lips.mmmm wat else?Well we spent a lot of time just laying next to one another watching much music.I mentioned to him that i loved laying on him cuz he was comfy and he says well i love how loveable and adorable u are.I kno completly mushy rite?im such a sucker for that stuff.He also asked me unexpectantly how i'd show someone that i loved them.I was caught off guard so i just ranmbled about showering the person with attention and affection.He kept doing that all nite.Saying things that would just throw me off balance.Like he kept saying how happy he was at that moment and how he wanted it to last forever.By midnite he had decided to stay the nite.I didnt even ask my dad and why should i?Im practically 18.If i want a guy to stay over im gonna have one stay over.Plus dad totally trusts me so w/e.I guess probably cuz i was tired i suddenly got all sentimental and while my head was resting on his stomach i told him i didnt wanna leave here yet.Didnt wanna go to england.and he just looks at me and says "I dont want u to leave either"So i get all teary eyed and he just holds me and tells me not to cry.Ya wanna hear something else thats over the top mushy?He kept placing my hand between both his hands saying it was like an oreo and i was the creamy centre.haha.So anyways we spent practically the whole nite cuddled up to one another.Around like 5am i think he got this huge pain in his stomach and i had to like hold him and strock his hair to calm him down.I love touching him,i love placing kisses in random spots,and even tho i startles me i like catching him staring at me as i fall asleep.In the morning he had to be home before his mom spazed and i had to pick up a letter tam printed off for me so we dropped him off round noon.Ykno dad didnt say anything to me about the sleeping over really.He wasn't mad,wasn't disappointed,he just said to cole "wat are ur intentions with my daughter?" which i think was one of the most embarrasing moments of my entire life.lol.Cole just sat there and kinda nervously laughed.God I loved last nite.
Ykno i guess ppl expect us to be something more.Put a label to us and truthfully i dont want that.I dont wanna be bf/gf.i like where we are.As long as hes not using me im quite content.Just hanging out,no pressure to be perfect.Its bliss.I have no idea wat he thinks we are rite now and i dont care.Christ,i dont even kno wat we are.Putting a name to this would just complicate things.make leaving him in a month harder.Im already going to be crying wen i say goodbye to everyone why add more unnecessary tears?*sighs* I dont kno,im so blank rite now.
Well i think this entry's long enuf so i'll header to bed.Hope i didnt cause to much gagging.nite y'all.