(no subject)
this is my first real diary entry, and im going to put it behind a cut because i dont want elle taking me off her friends list
i'm not going to type this to zoe anymore cause i think she's getting sick of my ranting.
i don't know who i want to be anymore. i used to have it all figured out. i was kym. i had RACHEL. i wanted to stay in my band for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever till the epocalipse and i wanted to have purple hair. then rachel left school. and i haven't picked up my guitar for months. school started three days ago and each of those days i've cried. CRYING IS FOR THE WEAK. and then i start going into the whole "i hate myself cause im weak" thing that i do.
and there's this new guy in my grade...who happens to be in my homeroom. i think i might like him, but i think he thinks im some sort of emotional wreck. this morning in homeroom i was crying, then i started sobbing cause EVERYTHING reminded me of rachel. rachel kept everything balanced and now i wont get to see her very often cause she's ALWAYS busy with co-curricular shit her mum makes her do.
anyway, after music class on monday, i was feeling kinda low cause i was the only GIRL in my art's elective classes for this year (art, drama and music) and no one would sit next to me except the guy who thinks he's a goth cause he wears tight girls jeans and purple spikey jelly bracelets. i walked into art class feeling really sad and the guy turns around and goes "why are you so angry"...right.
anyway, i'll stop now. i just want him to talk to me. he talked to me in japanese class, and this girl i was sitting next to thinks he likes me. but if he does then why DOESN'T he talk to me?? im in his homeroom and four of his classes. it's not that hard to say hi.
i'm not going to type this to zoe anymore cause i think she's getting sick of my ranting.
i don't know who i want to be anymore. i used to have it all figured out. i was kym. i had RACHEL. i wanted to stay in my band for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever till the epocalipse and i wanted to have purple hair. then rachel left school. and i haven't picked up my guitar for months. school started three days ago and each of those days i've cried. CRYING IS FOR THE WEAK. and then i start going into the whole "i hate myself cause im weak" thing that i do.
and there's this new guy in my grade...who happens to be in my homeroom. i think i might like him, but i think he thinks im some sort of emotional wreck. this morning in homeroom i was crying, then i started sobbing cause EVERYTHING reminded me of rachel. rachel kept everything balanced and now i wont get to see her very often cause she's ALWAYS busy with co-curricular shit her mum makes her do.
anyway, after music class on monday, i was feeling kinda low cause i was the only GIRL in my art's elective classes for this year (art, drama and music) and no one would sit next to me except the guy who thinks he's a goth cause he wears tight girls jeans and purple spikey jelly bracelets. i walked into art class feeling really sad and the guy turns around and goes "why are you so angry"...right.
anyway, i'll stop now. i just want him to talk to me. he talked to me in japanese class, and this girl i was sitting next to thinks he likes me. but if he does then why DOESN'T he talk to me?? im in his homeroom and four of his classes. it's not that hard to say hi.