im living in a nightmare
so i just got back from Santa Cruz yess NOT NOT NOT!! ahh!! santa cruz was a lot of fun it was a big roller coaster but fun. umm yeah things suck so bad right now, no one has any idea.. i need someone to talk to i need someone to want to talk to me and not make it feel like they have to..i dunno if i have that? its so hard being optimistic when things are so so so bad! i can not even handle this ne more...you think its hard for me how do u think i feel? shit face man...i knwo ur hurt too but wat about me it needs to be about me this time not u like always..im not selfish by saying this..i dont know this is def. deep.. it wont heal for so long i cant even imagine i dont want to .. and i dont deserve it..i need my friends right now.. badly cuz this is too hard without someone there for me right now..i know i have that with a few for sure but some are questionable and i hate that..sorry for complaining so much but this is hard on me! how come i cant help myself like i help my friends through things? that sucks..