(no subject)
ok well..this will be my last entry for livejournal.
this last week has changed my life in many ways.
i realize that i can take most things for granted...
my home, my mother my father, my brother and sisters, all the things that i own....its something that you have and something that you cant take for granted...
my cousin jesse died on tuesday morning drag racing down a busy street with someone he didnt even know. its sad how something you love to do can be the most dangerous thing to do. i miss my cousin and love him dearly. and nothing can take his place in our family....nothing.
so that nite kinda didnt make things better. the only person i thought out to be someone different, made me feel bad about certain things. after all that blew over i had a really mournful night and day....i went to my cousins house in visalia with some of my family. i came home friday and had an ok time wasting it away at aardvarks getting ugly clothes that im only gonna wear once....
well you can count on this month of may to be the worst month ive had so far.
today..i might have made the biggest mistake....
there is a person..that for some reason in my mind, is one of the most awsome, smartest nicest guy that ive met in a while. ive some how found interest in him..and i didnt know how to take it anymore. i couldnt just let my feelings stay inside of me forever..maybe i should have waited...maybe i should have never had second thoughts about it and should have kept those feelings to myself...hopefully he is the kind of person i knew him out to be....and hopefully hell help me out through this...cuz i cant get through it without him....
now the question is...why do we fall for others...who dont feel the same way back? why do we go through all this junk..that makes us mad at ourselves for having feelings we cant control???
someone...i need help please....
i may have just ruined one of the friendships that could help me through life...
why cant these things come with answers?!?!?!
R.I.P Jesse Sindelar
I Love You
1981-2005
this last week has changed my life in many ways.
i realize that i can take most things for granted...
my home, my mother my father, my brother and sisters, all the things that i own....its something that you have and something that you cant take for granted...
my cousin jesse died on tuesday morning drag racing down a busy street with someone he didnt even know. its sad how something you love to do can be the most dangerous thing to do. i miss my cousin and love him dearly. and nothing can take his place in our family....nothing.
so that nite kinda didnt make things better. the only person i thought out to be someone different, made me feel bad about certain things. after all that blew over i had a really mournful night and day....i went to my cousins house in visalia with some of my family. i came home friday and had an ok time wasting it away at aardvarks getting ugly clothes that im only gonna wear once....
well you can count on this month of may to be the worst month ive had so far.
today..i might have made the biggest mistake....
there is a person..that for some reason in my mind, is one of the most awsome, smartest nicest guy that ive met in a while. ive some how found interest in him..and i didnt know how to take it anymore. i couldnt just let my feelings stay inside of me forever..maybe i should have waited...maybe i should have never had second thoughts about it and should have kept those feelings to myself...hopefully he is the kind of person i knew him out to be....and hopefully hell help me out through this...cuz i cant get through it without him....
now the question is...why do we fall for others...who dont feel the same way back? why do we go through all this junk..that makes us mad at ourselves for having feelings we cant control???
someone...i need help please....
i may have just ruined one of the friendships that could help me through life...
why cant these things come with answers?!?!?!
R.I.P Jesse Sindelar
I Love You
1981-2005