Truck Nutz
On the way home from work tonight, I saw the most awful and tacky vehicle accessory. I guess these things have been around, but it was the first time I had ever taken notice.
Anyhow, there was this big ass truck on the road and hanging from the bumper were a pair metal testicles.
Yes, you read that right, the truck had balls.
Man balls. A happy sack. Ghoulies. Huevos. Nads. Testicles!
I had to do a double take because I thought it was a defective trailer hitch or something. I don't spend much time looking at cars, let alone all the bling that people put all over them, it is just not my thing.
Now, I find large trucks to be rather ugly to begin with. I truly loathe things like the "Calvin peeing on the Ford logo" sticker, the steel-chains license plate frame, or the ever popular "Mudflap girl" silhouette. A constant reminder that there is many in this world with different taste than I. Bully for them, I guess.
Sadly, I felt the need to write about it here. Even more sad, I did a quick google search to find out the correct terminology of said truck balls. Apparently they are called "Truck Nutz", also known as bull balls, bumper nuts, hanging truck balls, hitch nuts, etc.
Googling anything is always a risk and I was very scared of what I would get for searching under the words truck and balls. Luckily, I was very late to the Truck Nutz party and there were a ton of sites dedicated to the selling of these bulbous accoutrements.
It was amazing to see the large variety of colors, sizes, and materials available for you to personalize your own set of truck nutz. It reminded me of all the various gamer dice one has to choose from when selecting a new set of dice for a game of Dungeons & Dragons.
At least neuticles have a purpose. These were for dudes who were already compensating for a lack of something with their huge trucks...this was a way to really drive in that point. That is not to say that some people just find them funny and proudly display their balls to offend people. I can see some value in that, I guess. But the joke is already old on me and I only just saw them.
Thank you, world! You have brought me up to speed on a new level of tackiness. I wonder what will be the next big reveal that the universe will share with me?
Anyhow, there was this big ass truck on the road and hanging from the bumper were a pair metal testicles.
Yes, you read that right, the truck had balls.
Man balls. A happy sack. Ghoulies. Huevos. Nads. Testicles!
I had to do a double take because I thought it was a defective trailer hitch or something. I don't spend much time looking at cars, let alone all the bling that people put all over them, it is just not my thing.
Now, I find large trucks to be rather ugly to begin with. I truly loathe things like the "Calvin peeing on the Ford logo" sticker, the steel-chains license plate frame, or the ever popular "Mudflap girl" silhouette. A constant reminder that there is many in this world with different taste than I. Bully for them, I guess.
Sadly, I felt the need to write about it here. Even more sad, I did a quick google search to find out the correct terminology of said truck balls. Apparently they are called "Truck Nutz", also known as bull balls, bumper nuts, hanging truck balls, hitch nuts, etc.
Googling anything is always a risk and I was very scared of what I would get for searching under the words truck and balls. Luckily, I was very late to the Truck Nutz party and there were a ton of sites dedicated to the selling of these bulbous accoutrements.
It was amazing to see the large variety of colors, sizes, and materials available for you to personalize your own set of truck nutz. It reminded me of all the various gamer dice one has to choose from when selecting a new set of dice for a game of Dungeons & Dragons.
At least neuticles have a purpose. These were for dudes who were already compensating for a lack of something with their huge trucks...this was a way to really drive in that point. That is not to say that some people just find them funny and proudly display their balls to offend people. I can see some value in that, I guess. But the joke is already old on me and I only just saw them.
Thank you, world! You have brought me up to speed on a new level of tackiness. I wonder what will be the next big reveal that the universe will share with me?