Big game of telephoneglitteringgunFebruary 3 2005, 22:24:14 UTC
This shit really reminds me of that kindergarten game of telephone where the message ends up so fucked up at the end of the line that no one has any clue what the first person heard; 'cept to me it seems that it only went through one source and got twisted. Obviously I played a significant part in starting this shit, and throwing fuel on to keep it burning; for that I am sorry.
1. Fair enough. 2. Sounds good. 3. Looking back, I believe I did once love you too, and denying that would be revisionistic. I can accept that you once did too; thats cool. I think the real issue is, I'd basically lost all trust in what you say after the last two... misunderstandings? Its really hard to be someone's friend if you don't trust them, and while I understand that me over-reacting to things helped to create both of these melodramatic incidents of BS, I'm still not sure I can trust you. 4. So true, knowing the future would make it boring. I meant those more as rhetorical questions than those to be answered; I definitely never should have written that part about you and cocaine. At that point I was just lashing out, trying to hurt; it would be horrible if you ended up like that, and as it stands, I'd be willing to lecture you about how you eat too.
I did give Andrew the go-ahead, and I do think he's a true friend because he had the respect to ask. If he didn't give a shit, he wouldn't have. As far as you and me are concerned, I don't know if you're my friend or not. The post I made was clearly not friendly, but I would like to be your friend - just as the way things have been, my prevailing question would be if that is even possible.
Question: "I'd rather not duke it out in a social setting." Where would you be willing to "duke it out," because I have wondered whether or not the only way we could be friends would be talking out whats going on first. Lj seems like a shitty place to do that at (and I had even considered just making the post private that night because it was so malicious but I changed my mind, largely because I wanted [and still want] some sort of resolution to this crap; albeit I went about that in a very juvenile manner).
"But I'm not going to compromise my own happiness for yours." Never surrender on that, and you're bound to lead at the minimum, a somewhat fulfilling life.
So what do I say, what is my great answer, ad nauseum - I don't know; maybe Jezu will come from the skys and answer this question, but frankly, I have no answers. Maybe that fortune cookie I got tells it all, "Time is the best counsel."
1. Fair enough.
2. Sounds good.
3. Looking back, I believe I did once love you too, and denying that would be revisionistic. I can accept that you once did too; thats cool. I think the real issue is, I'd basically lost all trust in what you say after the last two... misunderstandings? Its really hard to be someone's friend if you don't trust them, and while I understand that me over-reacting to things helped to create both of these melodramatic incidents of BS, I'm still not sure I can trust you.
4. So true, knowing the future would make it boring. I meant those more as rhetorical questions than those to be answered; I definitely never should have written that part about you and cocaine. At that point I was just lashing out, trying to hurt; it would be horrible if you ended up like that, and as it stands, I'd be willing to lecture you about how you eat too.
I did give Andrew the go-ahead, and I do think he's a true friend because he had the respect to ask. If he didn't give a shit, he wouldn't have. As far as you and me are concerned, I don't know if you're my friend or not. The post I made was clearly not friendly, but I would like to be your friend - just as the way things have been, my prevailing question would be if that is even possible.
Question: "I'd rather not duke it out in a social setting." Where would you be willing to "duke it out," because I have wondered whether or not the only way we could be friends would be talking out whats going on first. Lj seems like a shitty place to do that at (and I had even considered just making the post private that night because it was so malicious but I changed my mind, largely because I wanted [and still want] some sort of resolution to this crap; albeit I went about that in a very juvenile manner).
"But I'm not going to compromise my own happiness for yours." Never surrender on that, and you're bound to lead at the minimum, a somewhat fulfilling life.
So what do I say, what is my great answer, ad nauseum - I don't know; maybe Jezu will come from the skys and answer this question, but frankly, I have no answers. Maybe that fortune cookie I got tells it all, "Time is the best counsel."
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Whatever you decide, I'll understand.
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