Scared
It's been a long time since I last cut, but things keep piling up and I
don't know how much longer I can go. It feels like it HURTS not to hurt
myself.
My friends couldn't possibly understand.
Everyone says, "I used to be depressed" or "I deal with depression"
but they have no clue what it feels like to try dealing with that by dragging a razor blade across your skin.
Lately, the prospect of having sex is an issue.. something I haven't done in quite some time. There's always that huge fear that the partner is going to be completely repulsed by how I've marred myself. Obviously, I wouldn't want to have sex with someone I wasn't comfortable with anyways, but I can't make them comfortable with my issues.
My friends couldn't possibly understand.
Everyone says, "I used to be depressed" or "I deal with depression"
but they have no clue what it feels like to try dealing with that by dragging a razor blade across your skin.
Lately, the prospect of having sex is an issue.. something I haven't done in quite some time. There's always that huge fear that the partner is going to be completely repulsed by how I've marred myself. Obviously, I wouldn't want to have sex with someone I wasn't comfortable with anyways, but I can't make them comfortable with my issues.