(no subject)
things have been really different and difficult latly. I miss my friends I miss my old life i miss how things were before I had boy problems. I miss riding my bike until dark. I miss getting brusies all day from playin outside. I miss so much. I dont no why I feel like this. I have done alot of stupid things this year some with my parents some wit the law but then i realized not wit my friends. I was talkin to tiffany one night and she was tellin me how she cant really talk about deep things with some other friends, like the war things that are important in life. and I thought it was kind of weird cause no matter who my friends were my whole life I have had someone to talk to about things like this. I dont wanna miss up anymore I dont wanna be grounded when everyone else is having fun and talking about things like homecoming and spring break. ya i no im always included when they talk and when they plan stuff but i wanna be there to talk about it.
To be honest I have never missed someone so much in my entire life. The pain i feel is indiscribable. I loved dave wit so much and I no my friends dont wanna listen but they still do lol but they new what i piece of shit he was and honestly deep down i new it to but i couldnt except it. He was nothing i wanted but everythin i needed. Im scard that that feeling wont come along anymore and then i keep thinkin about maybe im just movin to fast i went on a date with ben 3 days after me and dave ended it and after the time wit ben I came home and balled my eyes out I got scared cause i was afraid that i wouldnt feel how i felt before I miss the feeling so much. I sit and try to convince myself that u have to be strong because so many women want to be strong when they loose someone I want to be different I wanted show that i dont need a man. I give so much advice and I no it isnt bad advice I wish i could sit down and listen to my adive but i guess things dont work like that. In so many ways I hate men I truely do in alot of ways and people are like there are some goods ones ya there probally are but i cant believe it till i expirence it. I was thinkin and all the guys i have really truely cared for have always had really problems every1 has problems but theres were more deep then some and it impacted on things that they did and I just want to help them thats what attracts me to them. I feel like i could sit in a cave for days and just ball my eyes out. I guess time is everythin and one thing is that i am not is patient which makes things even harder. Im really excited to finish high school i realized what dave had felt and now im feeling it. I wanna do things for myself i wanna move out I wanna do things for me I finally truely realized I have to do things for me and no one else and until i make myself happy i cant make a boyfriend or a man in my life happy till Im happy with myself.
be true to yourself. Do things for and know one else. Make yourself happy.
To be honest I have never missed someone so much in my entire life. The pain i feel is indiscribable. I loved dave wit so much and I no my friends dont wanna listen but they still do lol but they new what i piece of shit he was and honestly deep down i new it to but i couldnt except it. He was nothing i wanted but everythin i needed. Im scard that that feeling wont come along anymore and then i keep thinkin about maybe im just movin to fast i went on a date with ben 3 days after me and dave ended it and after the time wit ben I came home and balled my eyes out I got scared cause i was afraid that i wouldnt feel how i felt before I miss the feeling so much. I sit and try to convince myself that u have to be strong because so many women want to be strong when they loose someone I want to be different I wanted show that i dont need a man. I give so much advice and I no it isnt bad advice I wish i could sit down and listen to my adive but i guess things dont work like that. In so many ways I hate men I truely do in alot of ways and people are like there are some goods ones ya there probally are but i cant believe it till i expirence it. I was thinkin and all the guys i have really truely cared for have always had really problems every1 has problems but theres were more deep then some and it impacted on things that they did and I just want to help them thats what attracts me to them. I feel like i could sit in a cave for days and just ball my eyes out. I guess time is everythin and one thing is that i am not is patient which makes things even harder. Im really excited to finish high school i realized what dave had felt and now im feeling it. I wanna do things for myself i wanna move out I wanna do things for me I finally truely realized I have to do things for me and no one else and until i make myself happy i cant make a boyfriend or a man in my life happy till Im happy with myself.
be true to yourself. Do things for and know one else. Make yourself happy.