And just when you think life can not possibly get more difficult,
you get pregnant.
Yes, I said it. I am pregnant. Very pregnant. Four months pregnant. Who goes that long without knowing? Well, me, of course.
It's a very odd feeling, really. All of a sudden the selfish feelings I have ever felt before regarding money or any sort of material things just vanish. And it does not sadden me. Having to quit smoking, drinking, caffeine, ...... fine. I mean, don't get me wrong - it sucks. But it's okay. Because there's this thing.....in....there.
Weird.
A lot has been discussed and planned, already and we've only known for (not even) 2 weeks. I plan on moving back in with Ray before baby comes, however there are things that need to be done to the house before that happens. It's almost as if me moving out is now a blessing. With all of my stuff out of there, we can get a lot more done.
Baby has not and was not the reason our relationship improved. Oddly enough, it was improving before baby. And now, we just see life and even each other in a whole other light. A more respectful light.
This is going to be the adventure of our lives. I couldn't have picked a better man to do it with. I really don't think I could have.
We're going to be poor forever, in debt forever, and all the crap that prevents people from having babies is going to happen to us. And I am more comfortable in that than anything I've ever known.
It's so weird.
Our support is overwhelming and it feels like we're not the only ones having the baby. I feel like my family and I, Ray and I, we're doing it together. And that is what is making this okay.
Derby is out (obviously). But I might coach (we'll see). I can still skate and I am still active like before, oddly enough the only thing this pregnancy is preventing me from doing is all the bad stuff I did before. That's good.
I'm already showing and it's so bizarre. Bizarre. How could I not have known? Maybe it was that stupid pregnancy test that said negative. Who knows.
Well, whatever happens from here on out - I'm just going to roll with the punches. Letting go and letting life be is liberating. Scary as hell, but liberating nonetheless.
Yes, I said it. I am pregnant. Very pregnant. Four months pregnant. Who goes that long without knowing? Well, me, of course.
It's a very odd feeling, really. All of a sudden the selfish feelings I have ever felt before regarding money or any sort of material things just vanish. And it does not sadden me. Having to quit smoking, drinking, caffeine, ...... fine. I mean, don't get me wrong - it sucks. But it's okay. Because there's this thing.....in....there.
Weird.
A lot has been discussed and planned, already and we've only known for (not even) 2 weeks. I plan on moving back in with Ray before baby comes, however there are things that need to be done to the house before that happens. It's almost as if me moving out is now a blessing. With all of my stuff out of there, we can get a lot more done.
Baby has not and was not the reason our relationship improved. Oddly enough, it was improving before baby. And now, we just see life and even each other in a whole other light. A more respectful light.
This is going to be the adventure of our lives. I couldn't have picked a better man to do it with. I really don't think I could have.
We're going to be poor forever, in debt forever, and all the crap that prevents people from having babies is going to happen to us. And I am more comfortable in that than anything I've ever known.
It's so weird.
Our support is overwhelming and it feels like we're not the only ones having the baby. I feel like my family and I, Ray and I, we're doing it together. And that is what is making this okay.
Derby is out (obviously). But I might coach (we'll see). I can still skate and I am still active like before, oddly enough the only thing this pregnancy is preventing me from doing is all the bad stuff I did before. That's good.
I'm already showing and it's so bizarre. Bizarre. How could I not have known? Maybe it was that stupid pregnancy test that said negative. Who knows.
Well, whatever happens from here on out - I'm just going to roll with the punches. Letting go and letting life be is liberating. Scary as hell, but liberating nonetheless.