what's been happening
it's already been three, nearing four months into jc now and sometimes i really wonder whats been happening, what i've been doing. its been fun and exciting to meet new people and all, entertaining msn conversations every night and funny stuff happening in school but i realized.. that i havent met anyone whom i can really talk on an emotional level with.. and i wonder if its just been me all along, denying myself the opportunity to get to know people on a deeper level, or just.. i dont know. its just sad, and it seems like i've gone wrong somewhere.. somewhere bordering on the unsuperficial.
and seeing her that day made me feel even sadder. its painful to see a friend going through shit, and to see her as an entirely different person, to change so much within such a short period of time.. to become so quiet and mellowed- a total decline from her usual happy go lucky self. its depressing. and what's worse is that i don't know how i can help.
and on other things, i really have to stop torturing myself, getting upset over the slightest and most unimportant things. its tiring, mildly heartbreaking, and just being way too sensitive for my own good.
and seeing her that day made me feel even sadder. its painful to see a friend going through shit, and to see her as an entirely different person, to change so much within such a short period of time.. to become so quiet and mellowed- a total decline from her usual happy go lucky self. its depressing. and what's worse is that i don't know how i can help.
and on other things, i really have to stop torturing myself, getting upset over the slightest and most unimportant things. its tiring, mildly heartbreaking, and just being way too sensitive for my own good.