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You Know You're From Miami When...
The police shoot you for pointing a "walkman" radio at anybody.
The police shoot you 27 times for putting your hand in a sock and waving it at everybody.
The police draw their weapons and shoot someone with a red dot laser pointing device, (even if it's not mounted atop a gun).
The police shoot you for pointing a water-pistol at them.
The police rear-end your car and give you a ticket for going too slow.
You rent a car and the first toll you pay is to the thief waiting around the corner.
You rent a car, ask someone for directions, then get mugged.
You rent a car, get on the expressway and get shot for passing somebody.
You exit the expressway downtown and someone forces you to pay them for cleaning your clean windshield.
You check into a Hotel, call room service and have someone answer, "Ju espeek Espanis"?
You ask someone for directions and they reply, "parlez vous frances" in Spanish.
You go downtown and buy a great camera for $99, then discover that you must pay at least another $1,000 for the rest of it.
You pay the extra $1,000 then get home and find a little sticker on the underside that reads "refurbished".
You hail a cab and ask to be taken to an American restaurant and the driver just stares at you.
You sail away on a starlight cruise and it rains all night.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Miami.