Funeral flight tomorrow
Going to Cleveland for far too long tomorrow because my mom bought the plane tickets. They last from TUESDAY till SATURDAY. Unfairly long. I hate Cleveland and being there depresses me. So add that to the reason I'm there, my grandpa's funeral service on Thursday, and I don't know how I'm going to make it through.
I feel like physical affection is the only thing that could get me through, for some reason I've grown to believe this, which is very unhealthy since I am single right now. I'll get through this, naked cuddles or not. But why do I believe otherwise? That's insane.
So. Time to get sane I guess and prove that fact to myself.
I just am totally miserable. This is awful. Weakness of natural depression starting this Thursday afternoon+ news of grandpa's death + big ugly fight with the psycho Friday + dreading flights (I hate flying now) + dreading Cleveland + actually being in Cleveland + for THAT LONG= God, god, no, no! NO!
I'll get through. God, what other option is there? So close to finishing school. Nervous breakdown's not an option. Somebody kill me. Where did my happy firing neurons go?
-----EDIT
I am GLAD I am proving to myself that I don't need cuddles to get through this. I will have SO MUCH MORE respect for myself after I do. I am an addict of dramatic and sexually charged relationships, this is true. I need to recognize that and move past it. This week is the perfect opportunity. Squawk! goes the phoenix...
I feel like physical affection is the only thing that could get me through, for some reason I've grown to believe this, which is very unhealthy since I am single right now. I'll get through this, naked cuddles or not. But why do I believe otherwise? That's insane.
So. Time to get sane I guess and prove that fact to myself.
I just am totally miserable. This is awful. Weakness of natural depression starting this Thursday afternoon+ news of grandpa's death + big ugly fight with the psycho Friday + dreading flights (I hate flying now) + dreading Cleveland + actually being in Cleveland + for THAT LONG= God, god, no, no! NO!
I'll get through. God, what other option is there? So close to finishing school. Nervous breakdown's not an option. Somebody kill me. Where did my happy firing neurons go?
-----EDIT
I am GLAD I am proving to myself that I don't need cuddles to get through this. I will have SO MUCH MORE respect for myself after I do. I am an addict of dramatic and sexually charged relationships, this is true. I need to recognize that and move past it. This week is the perfect opportunity. Squawk! goes the phoenix...