Too Much Nervousness (About a Boy)
Last night, I got confirmation via text that a cute goth boy who I have a crush on is interested back.
Went to two in a row, tonight and last night, and still haven't kissed him-- hugged him tonight goodbye for the first damn time.
God damn, I am so nervous about breaching the barrier. He giggled tonight when I didn't kiss him as we hugged. I should have run back and finished the job! I shoulda, shoulda, shoulda!! :0
I am a chicken.
I have the opposite of balls. It is like there is a cavity, on the INSIDE of my body, where balls should be hanging on the OUTSIDE.
(Wait...erm...oh. That's right, that annoying damn thing.)
I am nervous because I am strongly attracted to him and am terrified of rejection for some reason- rejection which I know is impossible. I guess I was waiting for him to make the first move- and that is lame.
I also haven't had physical intimacy with somebody whose personality was extremely attractive to me since October (not counting you, of course, Mr. you-know-who-you-are, but you're an ex, so it's different- wayyyy less nervewracking.)
I guess that's a long time.
It is just less scary to not cross that physical barrier- but WAY less fun. Next week, I will trust myself more when I hang out when it's not 3 AM after we get out of a club (which have been the only hang-out times so far.) We have to!
Dan Savage once quipped, listening to a caller with similar problems as mine: "Jesus, with most people acting this nervously around people they're mutually attracted to, it's a wonder the human race has managed to reproduce itself for these thousands of years." (Approximate quote.)
Went to two in a row, tonight and last night, and still haven't kissed him-- hugged him tonight goodbye for the first damn time.
God damn, I am so nervous about breaching the barrier. He giggled tonight when I didn't kiss him as we hugged. I should have run back and finished the job! I shoulda, shoulda, shoulda!! :0
I am a chicken.
I have the opposite of balls. It is like there is a cavity, on the INSIDE of my body, where balls should be hanging on the OUTSIDE.
(Wait...erm...oh. That's right, that annoying damn thing.)
I am nervous because I am strongly attracted to him and am terrified of rejection for some reason- rejection which I know is impossible. I guess I was waiting for him to make the first move- and that is lame.
I also haven't had physical intimacy with somebody whose personality was extremely attractive to me since October (not counting you, of course, Mr. you-know-who-you-are, but you're an ex, so it's different- wayyyy less nervewracking.)
I guess that's a long time.
It is just less scary to not cross that physical barrier- but WAY less fun. Next week, I will trust myself more when I hang out when it's not 3 AM after we get out of a club (which have been the only hang-out times so far.) We have to!
Dan Savage once quipped, listening to a caller with similar problems as mine: "Jesus, with most people acting this nervously around people they're mutually attracted to, it's a wonder the human race has managed to reproduce itself for these thousands of years." (Approximate quote.)