>boulimia
>boulimia<
i just came back home from school... and i'm feeling pretty wierd maybe it's because i havn't eaten anything all day long.. i'm starving yet i don't want to barf and puke everything out. i disgust my friends and myself sometimes..this has becaome very annoying.
you know how you try to hide what's inside and just put a fake smile on you're face and pretend like evrything's alright? well i can't do that anymore.. everything in NOT alright.
i guess i was in this state of denial, that i wasn't really sick, that puking food for a couple of weeks would get me thinner and even better looking..i always thought this would end sometime..i always thought to myslef "i would never become a "boulimic" person." but guess what? i am..i even ended up at the fuckin' hospital.
the doctor said that i have problems with the iron level in my blood, it's too low so now i have to take Fe pills again*argh*. i can't stop taking brufen either. i've been skipping periods, i know i'm no pregnant, i havn't had sex for a while now *waits for a certain someone*, anyways the reason for why my period has disappeared for more than 2 months now is because i havn't been eating properly.duh!?
people, after "discovering" that i went to the hospital, havn't been acting the same around me.. the last time they acted this way was when they thought i was a "junky".fuckerz!
it's odd this feeling inside.. it's like right after every meal i have this thing this poisoneous apple stuck in my esophagus..i can't but stick my two fingers in, tap on my epiglotus, and puke everything out. for some reason i feel better after the food ends up in the toilet seat. it's funny how after i get out of the bathroom, my cheeks and under my eyes swell and redden. my eyes tear up and redden aswell.
i don't know.. you might call me an idiot. a stupid little lost girl. but hell.. this is my problem. if you want to help, don't treat me any differently.
anyways...i think this is enough for one entry.
i just came back home from school... and i'm feeling pretty wierd maybe it's because i havn't eaten anything all day long.. i'm starving yet i don't want to barf and puke everything out. i disgust my friends and myself sometimes..this has becaome very annoying.
you know how you try to hide what's inside and just put a fake smile on you're face and pretend like evrything's alright? well i can't do that anymore.. everything in NOT alright.
i guess i was in this state of denial, that i wasn't really sick, that puking food for a couple of weeks would get me thinner and even better looking..i always thought this would end sometime..i always thought to myslef "i would never become a "boulimic" person." but guess what? i am..i even ended up at the fuckin' hospital.
the doctor said that i have problems with the iron level in my blood, it's too low so now i have to take Fe pills again*argh*. i can't stop taking brufen either. i've been skipping periods, i know i'm no pregnant, i havn't had sex for a while now *waits for a certain someone*, anyways the reason for why my period has disappeared for more than 2 months now is because i havn't been eating properly.duh!?
people, after "discovering" that i went to the hospital, havn't been acting the same around me.. the last time they acted this way was when they thought i was a "junky".fuckerz!
it's odd this feeling inside.. it's like right after every meal i have this thing this poisoneous apple stuck in my esophagus..i can't but stick my two fingers in, tap on my epiglotus, and puke everything out. for some reason i feel better after the food ends up in the toilet seat. it's funny how after i get out of the bathroom, my cheeks and under my eyes swell and redden. my eyes tear up and redden aswell.
i don't know.. you might call me an idiot. a stupid little lost girl. but hell.. this is my problem. if you want to help, don't treat me any differently.
anyways...i think this is enough for one entry.