bah hum bug
I don't know how much longer I can do this. I'm about to break. I'm trying so hard to hold it in but it's slowly leaking out.
I got my moms christmas presents in the mail today. and it definitely hit me that my worst fear shall becoming true in a few short days. being alone. my first christmas without my mom. my first christmas on my own, being alone. yes I have roommates and some family here....but it's not the same one bit. I already hate christmas enough because of my history with Derek. rawr.
btw, I've made a complete idiot out of myself the past few nights. thanks to alcohol, I've said way too much to him. so much for the many months of convincing myself that I don't need him...
I got my moms christmas presents in the mail today. and it definitely hit me that my worst fear shall becoming true in a few short days. being alone. my first christmas without my mom. my first christmas on my own, being alone. yes I have roommates and some family here....but it's not the same one bit. I already hate christmas enough because of my history with Derek. rawr.
btw, I've made a complete idiot out of myself the past few nights. thanks to alcohol, I've said way too much to him. so much for the many months of convincing myself that I don't need him...