(no subject)
I hate Verizon.
I hate people who work at Verizon.
I hate being pushed into something.
especially when you're just lazy and don't want to do something I asked.
I hate Applebees.
and stupid personality tests.
how exactly do you fail a personality test?
I didn't want to work there anyways.
I hate old people who can't drive.
I hate rednecks and white trash who come into my work bitching about something just so they can get free food.
I hate having to give away 3% of my money.
I hate how I worked 4 hours last night and only made $11.
I hate being put in the party section and only get a party of 9 within that 4 hours.
I hate living with my mom.
okay I don't hate it, I just got so used to being on my own moving back in with her just sucks.
I hate how I've been holding everything inside.
yet, I love it at the same time.
I hate how he raped me a year ago and is still trying to be a part of my life.
I hate how he sends me pictures of his fucking dick.
or tells me he wants to see me naked.
YOU RAPED ME. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
I hate how the only way I can sleep at night is if I cry myself to sleep.
I hate the fact that I've been here 2 months and I'm still in debt.
nothing has changed.
I hate being so unhappy.
like I've said a million times, I know I did this to myself.
it was something I had to do and I can't explain it.
I hate how my sister gets everything from my family because she's fucked up her life so much they give her anything.
I hate how I am the responsible one.
I hate that my family thinks I don't need anything because I didn't fuck up my own life the way Krystal did.
I hate how I said I wanted to go home for my birthday;
but instead Grammy is using her skymiles to send my sister out here that same weekend because "she misses mom and is so lonely"
I hate how I'm so jealous it's ridiculous.
I hate jealousy.
I hate that the only way I keep contact with my dad is when I call him; but he can't pick up the damn phone to call me once.
I hate how you come back into my life, get my hopes up, then crush them.
I hate the fact that I repeatedly give you the power to destroy me; trusting you not to, yet you do it anyways.
I hate how I still wear that black bracelet we used to wear to signify "us."
I hate people who are supposed to be friends just yell and me and call me stupid and a bitch when I just needed someone to talk to.
I hate how I try to give him a second chance and he fucks it up by doing the same thing all over again.
I hate how I've resorted back to my old ways of dealing with my pain.
and have been very tempted to start smoking weed again.
this isn't me. this isn't who I am. or at least it's not who I thought I was.
I hate so many things. what the hell is wrong with me?!? I was doing so good =[
I hate people who work at Verizon.
I hate being pushed into something.
especially when you're just lazy and don't want to do something I asked.
I hate Applebees.
and stupid personality tests.
how exactly do you fail a personality test?
I didn't want to work there anyways.
I hate old people who can't drive.
I hate rednecks and white trash who come into my work bitching about something just so they can get free food.
I hate having to give away 3% of my money.
I hate how I worked 4 hours last night and only made $11.
I hate being put in the party section and only get a party of 9 within that 4 hours.
I hate living with my mom.
okay I don't hate it, I just got so used to being on my own moving back in with her just sucks.
I hate how I've been holding everything inside.
yet, I love it at the same time.
I hate how he raped me a year ago and is still trying to be a part of my life.
I hate how he sends me pictures of his fucking dick.
or tells me he wants to see me naked.
YOU RAPED ME. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.
I hate how the only way I can sleep at night is if I cry myself to sleep.
I hate the fact that I've been here 2 months and I'm still in debt.
nothing has changed.
I hate being so unhappy.
like I've said a million times, I know I did this to myself.
it was something I had to do and I can't explain it.
I hate how my sister gets everything from my family because she's fucked up her life so much they give her anything.
I hate how I am the responsible one.
I hate that my family thinks I don't need anything because I didn't fuck up my own life the way Krystal did.
I hate how I said I wanted to go home for my birthday;
but instead Grammy is using her skymiles to send my sister out here that same weekend because "she misses mom and is so lonely"
I hate how I'm so jealous it's ridiculous.
I hate jealousy.
I hate that the only way I keep contact with my dad is when I call him; but he can't pick up the damn phone to call me once.
I hate how you come back into my life, get my hopes up, then crush them.
I hate the fact that I repeatedly give you the power to destroy me; trusting you not to, yet you do it anyways.
I hate how I still wear that black bracelet we used to wear to signify "us."
I hate people who are supposed to be friends just yell and me and call me stupid and a bitch when I just needed someone to talk to.
I hate how I try to give him a second chance and he fucks it up by doing the same thing all over again.
I hate how I've resorted back to my old ways of dealing with my pain.
and have been very tempted to start smoking weed again.
this isn't me. this isn't who I am. or at least it's not who I thought I was.
I hate so many things. what the hell is wrong with me?!? I was doing so good =[