today i did 2!
i feel like such a selfish doofus. a boy i really like, and more importantly, trust, has told me that he likes spending time with me and that i make him happy and that he needs a little bit of time to himself to figure some stuff out. he said he's not seeing anyone at all, including his friends (who i know and who can vouch for this) and he really doesn't want me to take it personally, he just needs some alone time to get his act together. and being the selfish person that i am automatically ask why doesn't he have time for me, why me, me me me. it's not about me, sometimes. this time. after all, i had nearly 2 weeks of down time and alone time over break, and i did exactly that. he didn't. it's totally and completely fair for him to want perspective. the perspective that i already got. sometimes i need to just calm the fuck down and RELAX.
and now i will tell you how i came to relax. today was absolutely amazing. i woke up early and went for an hour long hike on a creek we have nearby. no friends, no ipod, no distractions. just me and the sound of rushing water and the crisp cold air and my own thoughts. when i finished, i felt peaceful and whole and rejuvinated in a way i can't put into words. for once, all of my neurosis and the crazy worries and things flying around my head just stopped. i just focused on where i was and what i was doing and everything around me. this evening i went to orientation for rock climbing at our gym! it was scary but fun. the walls don't seem that high but i guess they actually are. it's mostly about learning to trust yourself and your body. now i can go and free climb whenever i want, so i'll work on that. yay. today was full of adventures.
i have rediscovered an old piece of wisdom that i intend to put to use a lot more in the future:
do one thing everday that scares you.
and now i will tell you how i came to relax. today was absolutely amazing. i woke up early and went for an hour long hike on a creek we have nearby. no friends, no ipod, no distractions. just me and the sound of rushing water and the crisp cold air and my own thoughts. when i finished, i felt peaceful and whole and rejuvinated in a way i can't put into words. for once, all of my neurosis and the crazy worries and things flying around my head just stopped. i just focused on where i was and what i was doing and everything around me. this evening i went to orientation for rock climbing at our gym! it was scary but fun. the walls don't seem that high but i guess they actually are. it's mostly about learning to trust yourself and your body. now i can go and free climb whenever i want, so i'll work on that. yay. today was full of adventures.
i have rediscovered an old piece of wisdom that i intend to put to use a lot more in the future:
do one thing everday that scares you.