loved it more than anything, loved it more than anything, loved everything more than it
My adress, for those of you who wish to please me =), is
Bennington College,Swan 12
One College Drive
Bennington, VT
05201
I have been wanting to make an update for so long, but sadly I feel like I never have time. There is so much that I love about this place, needless to say the one word to best describe my situation would be "drowning." As in, I am completly over my head with the classes I am taking and the balance of my crappy job at the Dining Hall. I am suffering the most by lack of sleep-I sleep excellent here...when I get the chance, its just I always have to stay up later than I want, and wake up earlier than I desire to do homework.
I am sorry this post is depressing-there is so much excitment and greatness here at the same time. It is not Bennington at all that is causing me so much stress and sadness, it is myself. I have been a bad friend to everyone I care about and pretty much just stopped talking to everyone (except Josh who is too persistent to let it happen) I miss everyone so much, but feel to sad and/or occupied to talk to them.
What I need to work on is my self esteem-greatly. It has become much worse in the past few days and preventing me from getting anything done as I am constantly telling myself I am not intelligent enough, or suck too much at writing, or just pale in comparison to everyone else at everything. I know I need to get over myself, but its been ecspecially difficult lately.
I am completly comfortable being here, but nto comfortable with myself here-if that makes sense. I am in love with my surrondings but insecure as crap about myself.
As always, I will be okay soon enough. And then I will call all of my friends, and update about how insane and amazing this place is.
I love you all.