the moon stopped smiling that night...
I should be doing my homework but I feel like writing. School is really getting me on my nerves, i barely have time to o anything. I was writing in my other journal at around 830 and I had to stop at 9 so I could go to bed, how patehtic is that? But I haven't got so much sleep for awhile, which I guess is good. Tomorrow is Friday, woo hoo.
I don't understand what is wrong with me, i really ahte myself right now. i had like the perfect opportunity to talk to the guy I like and what do I do?? I look at the ground and fiddle with my hands. I'm so patehtic, I really need to do something about this or else it's going to kill me. I can talk to the girl he danced with fine but I can't even look him in the eye. There is really something wrong with me. And when I had the chance to talk my friend said that he was even looking at me and laughing at stuff I was saying, but no I have to look at the ground. I'm so pissed off at myself, I always do this...I wish I could have confidence. I'm thinking of just telling him, why should I go through all this pain and stuff when I can easily just say something? He may not feel the same way but just knowing would be so much easier. Or maybe i should just try to talk to him, we have talked before i don't understand why not again. I really do need to try because this is the first time I've ever felt something real about someone...besides just simply likeing them. And another thing that pisses me off is when people ask me who I like. It seems like all my friends say to me is "Who do you like? I promise i won't tell anyone." Telling someone is not the point! Excuse me if I don't want everyone in on my personal life! And another thing "I told you who I like so now you have to tell me who you like." Sorry, that's not how life works. Why does everyone around me have to be so immature about life?
I get embaressed in front of because of something my sister did talked to me today. I thought he didn't want to talk to me because of something my sister said but it's cool again. He called my poncho a rug, lol. Excuse me if it's warm, lol. I'm so glad of all the new friends i'm making. And this kid in band, we have this joke where we "stalk" each other, lol. I looked back at where he was because I heard a noise and then he said really loud, "My stalker is looking at me. She must really like me." LOL.
I thikn I'm going to go get a vanilla chai...its a perfect day for one.
I don't understand what is wrong with me, i really ahte myself right now. i had like the perfect opportunity to talk to the guy I like and what do I do?? I look at the ground and fiddle with my hands. I'm so patehtic, I really need to do something about this or else it's going to kill me. I can talk to the girl he danced with fine but I can't even look him in the eye. There is really something wrong with me. And when I had the chance to talk my friend said that he was even looking at me and laughing at stuff I was saying, but no I have to look at the ground. I'm so pissed off at myself, I always do this...I wish I could have confidence. I'm thinking of just telling him, why should I go through all this pain and stuff when I can easily just say something? He may not feel the same way but just knowing would be so much easier. Or maybe i should just try to talk to him, we have talked before i don't understand why not again. I really do need to try because this is the first time I've ever felt something real about someone...besides just simply likeing them. And another thing that pisses me off is when people ask me who I like. It seems like all my friends say to me is "Who do you like? I promise i won't tell anyone." Telling someone is not the point! Excuse me if I don't want everyone in on my personal life! And another thing "I told you who I like so now you have to tell me who you like." Sorry, that's not how life works. Why does everyone around me have to be so immature about life?
I get embaressed in front of because of something my sister did talked to me today. I thought he didn't want to talk to me because of something my sister said but it's cool again. He called my poncho a rug, lol. Excuse me if it's warm, lol. I'm so glad of all the new friends i'm making. And this kid in band, we have this joke where we "stalk" each other, lol. I looked back at where he was because I heard a noise and then he said really loud, "My stalker is looking at me. She must really like me." LOL.
I thikn I'm going to go get a vanilla chai...its a perfect day for one.