i wake alone and pretend that i am finally home
i listen to "the recluse" over and over and it makes me nauseous and dizzy and i shake. it makes me sick and uneasy but i play it again.remember when we laid in your backyard looking at the planets late at night even though it was cold outside? you said "they look so small" and i said "it doesn't look like those pictures". remember at the beach when his mom asked me if he was cute and i said "uh huh", and we followed them home? remember the rocks in the road? remember all that hard liqour? but remember being sober on the fourth? and it was still the greatest. you are my favorite. i'm sure that you will never read this and i'm sure that you will call me in a little while and i'm not sure that i will tell you but i'm sure that you are my favorite.i don't like wishing i had someone else's life. not because i dislike mine, because i like this person's so much better and i hardly even know her.