FIC: "Homecoming", Eureka, Allison, Jack/Allison
TITLE: Homecoming
FANDOM: Eureka
RATING: PG
PAIRING: Jack/Allison
SPOILERS: up to Omega Girls
SUMMARY: Allison, afterwards. Omega Girls tag.
Allison walks the corridors from the infirmary to Fargo's office - her office - and finds herself trembling. It's like the overwhelming relief of waking from a bad dream, but this time she can't say it didn't happen, none of it happened. The release of being free in her own mind wars with the feeling of Beverly Barlow poking into every inch of her brain, controlling her, using her.
It makes her feel sick.
She closes the office door firmly behind her and sinks down onto the imported couch Beverly had mocked. There are going to be questions, interviews, debriefs and exams soon enough, and Fargo will probably arrive sooner, full of indignation and awkward concern, but for now she pulls out her cell and dials her mother's number.
She talks to Kevin for a long, long time, listening to Jenna babbling in the background. It had been Beverly's decision to send them away, not Allison's, and she'd protested it, fought it with everything in her. Her impulse is to drive to Portland right now and hug them forever, to apologise over and over again for not being herself. But maybe it's best, right now, that they aren't here. That they don't see her like this.
Jack arrives as both Kevin and Allison are trying, without success, to convince Jenna to say “hi mommy”. A rather practical young lady, Jenna prefers talking to people she can see. Jack grins when he works out what's going on and sits down beside Allison and for just a second, in this little domestic moment, all's right with the world and she almost forgets.
It doesn't last. These things never do. Allison lets Kevin go back to his video games with the promise that she'll see him soon, tosses the phone onto the floor and puts her head down on Jack's shoulder.
“How are they?”
“They're good. Did you tell Zoe? About what happened?” Allison needs a distraction.
“Yup.”
“How'd she take it?”
Jack sighs, and says nothing for a minute. “Pretty well, all things considering. It explains a lot. About me, about Jo and Zane. But there are things she remembers that I don't, memories I have that she doesn't. The whole life we had. I don't know. Ask me how she's doing in a month.”
“Yeah.”
“Thinking about telling Kevin?”
“I don't know. I don't know much at the moment.” She closes her eyes, blocking out a world that hurts.
The phone on Fargo's desk begins ringing, and Allison starts, her whole body tensing, unsure for a second where the sound's coming from. Having Beverly in her head was like being wrapped in cotton wool. Everything on the outside was less intense, almost unreal, and now it feels like her senses are on overdrive.
“You should answer that.”
Allison looks at Jack, confused. It's Fargo's office. Fargo should be here. But then she remembers: she's the interim head of GD.
She stands on wobbly legs and goes to answer the phone. “Allison Blake. Oh, yes, senator...”
**
When Jack says, later that day, “So, do you want to go home? Or go get dinner? Or whatever, because we can do whatever?” Allison realises she doesn't have an answer to that question. Last time she was in her own home Beverly had full control of her body, and had chosen to share her opinions on everything from Allison's reading material to her wardrobe, and Allison had seen everything through Beverly's eyes unable to even form a coherent thought. Remembering it makes her skin crawl.
“Shouldn't you be spending time with Zoe?” she asks. She's stalling, and she knows it.
“She wanted to see Pilar. Anyway, I think she's still processing, you know, everything.”
Allison's head hurts, but it's a different kind of hurt. Two scientists she knows only by sight pass the window, both of them peering in to look at her, and suddenly she can't breathe in this town. “Let's get out of here,” she says, on impulse. “Let's just go somewhere. I don't care where as long as it's not here.”
Jack looks surprised for a second, as well he might, but she sees him tuck the emotion away.
“Okay. I'll get dinner from Vincent and we'll go have a picnic somewhere. Or, something. I'll put Andy in charge.”
Allison nods, slowly. “Yeah. That'll be good. I just want to be normal for a bit, you know?”
“Yeah. I get it.”
**
So they drive, and drive, and neither of them says anything. They end up eating in the car at a rest stop in the dark, and it's the most content Allison's been in weeks. Vincent's surpassed himself, and replaced his usual gourmet fare with the sort of comfort food she craves.
Smart man.
Allison fills up on tomato soup and garlic bread and macaroni and cheese, tasting real food for the first time since Beverly took over, while Jack leans his seat back and munches away steadily at a burger and fries. He's fascinated by the technology that kept his burger hot and the lettuce unwilted for almost two hours. It may be a ploy to distract her, and if it is it works because it's easy enough to explain what the device does, and then to talk about the other everyday technology that still hasn't made it beyond Eureka and into the wider world. The real world.
“So,” Jack says, in the end, “do you want to talk about it?”
Allison knows he's not referring to the most efficient battery charger known to man. “Not right now,” she says, because she doesn't know how to make him understand what she can barely put into words.
“Okay. Well, you know, whenever you do.”
“I know.” Allison squeezes his hand, and feels his reassuring grip in response. “Let's just go home, okay?”
**
Halfway back to Eureka, it's like the dam bursts and without meaning to, Allison starts talking. She tells him about the first moment she felt Beverly's presence asserting itself in her mind, the first time her body moved without her command. She talks about the way her senses were dulled, about the struggle to separate her emotions from Beverly's, about the constant and futile battle for control.
And then, the worst.
“She hated the kids.”
Jack takes his eyes off the road for a second to glance at her. “What?”
“Kevin and Jenna. They were obstacles. They were in the way. She was always afraid that they'd realise something was up. She thought Jenna was a spoiled brat, she thought Kevin was boring and irritating. Every time she did something for them she resented it. Every time she held Jenna or changed her diaper. She was putting on a show and she made sure I knew it.”
“But they didn't.”
“I don't think so. I'm almost glad she sent them away.” Allison's balled her hands into fists to stop herself crying, and her nails are digging into her skin.
“Beverly was wrong about a lot of things, but especially about your kids.”
“I know she's wrong. But she was in my head, I felt what she felt and I couldn't stop it.”
Allison barely notices as Jack pulls off the road.
“Hey. Allison.” Jack's hands are on hers, loosening the grip she has on herself. “You are going to get through this, and we are going to find Beverly and stop her and lock her up and let Jo loose on her.”
Allison giggles, and realises there are tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat. “I hate this,” she says, and it's all she manages to say.
“I know.” Jack pulls her into him, and it's awkward and cramped but right now she doesn't care, just buries her face against his shoulder and lets herself cry. It's one night: tomorrow she'll set her shoulders and she'll straighten her back and she'll let Grace scan her brain and run whatever tests she wants, and then she won't stop until they get Beverly.
But for now, though, she'll cry on Jack's shoulder in the dark, and this is a victory that Beverly will never know she won.
**
It's after midnight by the time they get back on the road, the tomorrow she's been planning for. Allison's exhausted, mind and body and soul; she could sleep forever if she didn't have a war to fight.
Dozing against the doorframe, her head pillowed on Jack's coat, half aware of the world, a sign flashes by in the darkness and despite it all, she smiles.
Welcome to Eureka.
FANDOM: Eureka
RATING: PG
PAIRING: Jack/Allison
SPOILERS: up to Omega Girls
SUMMARY: Allison, afterwards. Omega Girls tag.
Allison walks the corridors from the infirmary to Fargo's office - her office - and finds herself trembling. It's like the overwhelming relief of waking from a bad dream, but this time she can't say it didn't happen, none of it happened. The release of being free in her own mind wars with the feeling of Beverly Barlow poking into every inch of her brain, controlling her, using her.
It makes her feel sick.
She closes the office door firmly behind her and sinks down onto the imported couch Beverly had mocked. There are going to be questions, interviews, debriefs and exams soon enough, and Fargo will probably arrive sooner, full of indignation and awkward concern, but for now she pulls out her cell and dials her mother's number.
She talks to Kevin for a long, long time, listening to Jenna babbling in the background. It had been Beverly's decision to send them away, not Allison's, and she'd protested it, fought it with everything in her. Her impulse is to drive to Portland right now and hug them forever, to apologise over and over again for not being herself. But maybe it's best, right now, that they aren't here. That they don't see her like this.
Jack arrives as both Kevin and Allison are trying, without success, to convince Jenna to say “hi mommy”. A rather practical young lady, Jenna prefers talking to people she can see. Jack grins when he works out what's going on and sits down beside Allison and for just a second, in this little domestic moment, all's right with the world and she almost forgets.
It doesn't last. These things never do. Allison lets Kevin go back to his video games with the promise that she'll see him soon, tosses the phone onto the floor and puts her head down on Jack's shoulder.
“How are they?”
“They're good. Did you tell Zoe? About what happened?” Allison needs a distraction.
“Yup.”
“How'd she take it?”
Jack sighs, and says nothing for a minute. “Pretty well, all things considering. It explains a lot. About me, about Jo and Zane. But there are things she remembers that I don't, memories I have that she doesn't. The whole life we had. I don't know. Ask me how she's doing in a month.”
“Yeah.”
“Thinking about telling Kevin?”
“I don't know. I don't know much at the moment.” She closes her eyes, blocking out a world that hurts.
The phone on Fargo's desk begins ringing, and Allison starts, her whole body tensing, unsure for a second where the sound's coming from. Having Beverly in her head was like being wrapped in cotton wool. Everything on the outside was less intense, almost unreal, and now it feels like her senses are on overdrive.
“You should answer that.”
Allison looks at Jack, confused. It's Fargo's office. Fargo should be here. But then she remembers: she's the interim head of GD.
She stands on wobbly legs and goes to answer the phone. “Allison Blake. Oh, yes, senator...”
**
When Jack says, later that day, “So, do you want to go home? Or go get dinner? Or whatever, because we can do whatever?” Allison realises she doesn't have an answer to that question. Last time she was in her own home Beverly had full control of her body, and had chosen to share her opinions on everything from Allison's reading material to her wardrobe, and Allison had seen everything through Beverly's eyes unable to even form a coherent thought. Remembering it makes her skin crawl.
“Shouldn't you be spending time with Zoe?” she asks. She's stalling, and she knows it.
“She wanted to see Pilar. Anyway, I think she's still processing, you know, everything.”
Allison's head hurts, but it's a different kind of hurt. Two scientists she knows only by sight pass the window, both of them peering in to look at her, and suddenly she can't breathe in this town. “Let's get out of here,” she says, on impulse. “Let's just go somewhere. I don't care where as long as it's not here.”
Jack looks surprised for a second, as well he might, but she sees him tuck the emotion away.
“Okay. I'll get dinner from Vincent and we'll go have a picnic somewhere. Or, something. I'll put Andy in charge.”
Allison nods, slowly. “Yeah. That'll be good. I just want to be normal for a bit, you know?”
“Yeah. I get it.”
**
So they drive, and drive, and neither of them says anything. They end up eating in the car at a rest stop in the dark, and it's the most content Allison's been in weeks. Vincent's surpassed himself, and replaced his usual gourmet fare with the sort of comfort food she craves.
Smart man.
Allison fills up on tomato soup and garlic bread and macaroni and cheese, tasting real food for the first time since Beverly took over, while Jack leans his seat back and munches away steadily at a burger and fries. He's fascinated by the technology that kept his burger hot and the lettuce unwilted for almost two hours. It may be a ploy to distract her, and if it is it works because it's easy enough to explain what the device does, and then to talk about the other everyday technology that still hasn't made it beyond Eureka and into the wider world. The real world.
“So,” Jack says, in the end, “do you want to talk about it?”
Allison knows he's not referring to the most efficient battery charger known to man. “Not right now,” she says, because she doesn't know how to make him understand what she can barely put into words.
“Okay. Well, you know, whenever you do.”
“I know.” Allison squeezes his hand, and feels his reassuring grip in response. “Let's just go home, okay?”
**
Halfway back to Eureka, it's like the dam bursts and without meaning to, Allison starts talking. She tells him about the first moment she felt Beverly's presence asserting itself in her mind, the first time her body moved without her command. She talks about the way her senses were dulled, about the struggle to separate her emotions from Beverly's, about the constant and futile battle for control.
And then, the worst.
“She hated the kids.”
Jack takes his eyes off the road for a second to glance at her. “What?”
“Kevin and Jenna. They were obstacles. They were in the way. She was always afraid that they'd realise something was up. She thought Jenna was a spoiled brat, she thought Kevin was boring and irritating. Every time she did something for them she resented it. Every time she held Jenna or changed her diaper. She was putting on a show and she made sure I knew it.”
“But they didn't.”
“I don't think so. I'm almost glad she sent them away.” Allison's balled her hands into fists to stop herself crying, and her nails are digging into her skin.
“Beverly was wrong about a lot of things, but especially about your kids.”
“I know she's wrong. But she was in my head, I felt what she felt and I couldn't stop it.”
Allison barely notices as Jack pulls off the road.
“Hey. Allison.” Jack's hands are on hers, loosening the grip she has on herself. “You are going to get through this, and we are going to find Beverly and stop her and lock her up and let Jo loose on her.”
Allison giggles, and realises there are tears in her eyes and a lump in her throat. “I hate this,” she says, and it's all she manages to say.
“I know.” Jack pulls her into him, and it's awkward and cramped but right now she doesn't care, just buries her face against his shoulder and lets herself cry. It's one night: tomorrow she'll set her shoulders and she'll straighten her back and she'll let Grace scan her brain and run whatever tests she wants, and then she won't stop until they get Beverly.
But for now, though, she'll cry on Jack's shoulder in the dark, and this is a victory that Beverly will never know she won.
**
It's after midnight by the time they get back on the road, the tomorrow she's been planning for. Allison's exhausted, mind and body and soul; she could sleep forever if she didn't have a war to fight.
Dozing against the doorframe, her head pillowed on Jack's coat, half aware of the world, a sign flashes by in the darkness and despite it all, she smiles.
Welcome to Eureka.