I'M NOT OKAY ANYMORE.
i hate it. all of it.
i feel like all i am capable of doing is making mistakes and failing. I've spent a whole summer NOT losing weight and watching everyone else be beautiful. i have a panic attack at work everytime i go because i'm made to feel that every choice is life or death. we are losing the fucking house and no one is happy anymore. i'm just wrong.....always.
i don't want to be responsible. i don't want to decide. i'm sick of living my life thinking about next week because i am just so unhappy with what is going on right this second.
and most of all i don't want to be sad about any of it anymore. life is boring and pathetic and i feel so useless.
i have no occupation goal and i've recently learned that a job is a job and does not define who you are at all...which ruins my feelng of purpose.
i'm going to be unhappy and jaded and don't really want to do this anymore.
sleep and singing are my only escape.
sometimes i just wish that i would happen to die because life is just so fucking stupid. there is no point to your house, job, sex, bodies, money, location, longitude latitude and mind.
and all i have left are the people who dispoint me or the ones who want to run it for me.
i'm not okay anymore.
i feel like all i am capable of doing is making mistakes and failing. I've spent a whole summer NOT losing weight and watching everyone else be beautiful. i have a panic attack at work everytime i go because i'm made to feel that every choice is life or death. we are losing the fucking house and no one is happy anymore. i'm just wrong.....always.
i don't want to be responsible. i don't want to decide. i'm sick of living my life thinking about next week because i am just so unhappy with what is going on right this second.
and most of all i don't want to be sad about any of it anymore. life is boring and pathetic and i feel so useless.
i have no occupation goal and i've recently learned that a job is a job and does not define who you are at all...which ruins my feelng of purpose.
i'm going to be unhappy and jaded and don't really want to do this anymore.
sleep and singing are my only escape.
sometimes i just wish that i would happen to die because life is just so fucking stupid. there is no point to your house, job, sex, bodies, money, location, longitude latitude and mind.
and all i have left are the people who dispoint me or the ones who want to run it for me.
i'm not okay anymore.