(no subject)
my sleeping pattern is so fucked up. I just think about things way too much when i get into my bed, and last night i was still awake at seven a.m. when the sun came up. music just keeps me awake, but i can't turn it off because then all i can hear is my room mate making disgusting noises in her sleep. i feel bad for saying that and paranoid that she will read this even though a total of two (maybe) people will. neither of which will be her. I just can't help it though, in my head i am mean to everyone i know. i like to be alone too much. people just drive me nuts in ways that should not be possible. little, normal things drive me crazy. then everyone makes a big deal out of it when i need a four day hiatus in the middle of the week. even though it is hard to do that when i have to share a small cubicle with someone. i just keep thinking how much better next year will be when i will have my own room! a luxury that i never appreciated until this horrid year in prison! i can not wait to be able to sleep in without someone else's alarm clock waking me up. and i am double excited to live with my brother because i know that i will still like him at the end of the year. i lived with him for years and years already so i know how this will work. though i might die of starvation the way that i cook. and i'm sure not going to live on microwaved bread and ragu sauce. but then again, maybe that will be good too since i can no longer fit into any of my jeans that aren't stretchy. i just need a life to-do list. 1) drop some lbs in a hurry. 2) stop being a freak and like people. i guess that is all i have right now.
on the upside of my existence: six weeks left of school! i just finished a really good book! and my hair is growing!
i need to look cute soon. that will make me feel better. ( i put outfits together in my head when i am trying to sleep) then i wake up, put on the same jeans i have worn for a month, a crew neck sweatshirt in assorted colors and moccasins. my five day a week uniform. thank goodness for no pant weekends when i can wear dresses and tights and things. i will work on getting a life.
on the upside of my existence: six weeks left of school! i just finished a really good book! and my hair is growing!
i need to look cute soon. that will make me feel better. ( i put outfits together in my head when i am trying to sleep) then i wake up, put on the same jeans i have worn for a month, a crew neck sweatshirt in assorted colors and moccasins. my five day a week uniform. thank goodness for no pant weekends when i can wear dresses and tights and things. i will work on getting a life.