cotton morning.
i couldn't sleep well last night. too many thoughts stumbling through my head. i'd slip away for ten minutes then wake up again... look at the paterns made on the wall by the orange street lights through the blinds. i love listening to night sounds. silence and crickets and lone cars zooming past and dogs barking. i became fed up with the ritual and just got out of bed.
it was around six am, still pitch black outside. wandered around the house, sleepy-headed for a few minutes. wondering what to do. it was another one of those odd moments when you feel as if you're seeing something you shouldn't, being there when you shouldn't. everything looks so surreal because you hadn't seen it in that light, at that time of day. you almost feel naughty. oh, giggle.
wandering around in nothing but cotton boxers on a melbourne morning can be a bad idea. i put on a jumper, stepped out of the house and began walking. i'm not sure i even knew where i was walking to. i found myself at the beach as the sun was rising. i walked down the pier and sat cross legged at the very edge. the very edge. before me all i saw was ocean and again, it was so surreal. i felt as if i was floating. funnily enough it was like that standing at the front of the ship moment in 'titanic' (minus the stupid diologue etc).
the sun was rising and it was a little warmer. there was a breeze. i ended up taking off the jumper. crikey, i swear it felt like i was flying. for once, rather than feeling lonely, i felt totally comfortable and content. and though i was alone with nothing but water and sand around, i had the same feeling then as i would have curled up in bed asleep with someone.
you could say it was cold. chilly, i guess. crisp, some might say. the kind of cold that doesn't make you shiver, but still stings your lungs and makes your skin numb. when the clouds passed infront of the sun it was like a sigh. how poetic, huh? but it's true, really. just imagine yourself all bright and worked up, excited and overjoyed. then something happens. your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach. and if it's really bad, it'll fall out all together, run down your leg and lay in a bloody dirty heap at your feet. no? yes.
but then of course the clouds slowly glide past and you can watch the sun falling back across the ground, spilling into the ocean. eventually, the cloud is out of the way completely and the warmth will roll over you. and it's like being reborn, i think. thinking this way is the ultimate way to make yourself feel better. you are no longer human, you no longer have problems and your feelings are based entirely on the works of nature. everything passes. everything is intense and brilliant. and if you take it seriously, you can feel the most amazing things.
but that could just be me...
it was around six am, still pitch black outside. wandered around the house, sleepy-headed for a few minutes. wondering what to do. it was another one of those odd moments when you feel as if you're seeing something you shouldn't, being there when you shouldn't. everything looks so surreal because you hadn't seen it in that light, at that time of day. you almost feel naughty. oh, giggle.
wandering around in nothing but cotton boxers on a melbourne morning can be a bad idea. i put on a jumper, stepped out of the house and began walking. i'm not sure i even knew where i was walking to. i found myself at the beach as the sun was rising. i walked down the pier and sat cross legged at the very edge. the very edge. before me all i saw was ocean and again, it was so surreal. i felt as if i was floating. funnily enough it was like that standing at the front of the ship moment in 'titanic' (minus the stupid diologue etc).
the sun was rising and it was a little warmer. there was a breeze. i ended up taking off the jumper. crikey, i swear it felt like i was flying. for once, rather than feeling lonely, i felt totally comfortable and content. and though i was alone with nothing but water and sand around, i had the same feeling then as i would have curled up in bed asleep with someone.
you could say it was cold. chilly, i guess. crisp, some might say. the kind of cold that doesn't make you shiver, but still stings your lungs and makes your skin numb. when the clouds passed infront of the sun it was like a sigh. how poetic, huh? but it's true, really. just imagine yourself all bright and worked up, excited and overjoyed. then something happens. your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach. and if it's really bad, it'll fall out all together, run down your leg and lay in a bloody dirty heap at your feet. no? yes.
but then of course the clouds slowly glide past and you can watch the sun falling back across the ground, spilling into the ocean. eventually, the cloud is out of the way completely and the warmth will roll over you. and it's like being reborn, i think. thinking this way is the ultimate way to make yourself feel better. you are no longer human, you no longer have problems and your feelings are based entirely on the works of nature. everything passes. everything is intense and brilliant. and if you take it seriously, you can feel the most amazing things.
but that could just be me...