(no subject)
Well, dear readers, I'm back after years off. I haven't had any significant hearbreak though there have been significant events.
I'm right now trying to get this girl Jill out of my head. She wanted me, she totally seduced me, she had a crush on me, i was stuck in her head, she was giddy at finally getting to meet me in person, and.... after 2 days with her I told her I loved her which was totally too fast and scary for her...but after actually having sex with me, she "freaked out". I got one text telling me that she thought I was amazing, but that she was freaked out. We talked a little Tuesday night via skype video chatting - in which see seemed really uncomfortable, mentioned that we were "Friends" once. She was interrupted by some friends coming over, I got a "sorry, friends came over, we'll talk tomorrow" text, and ..... that was it.
I don't even feel like telling the whole story, I just want to complain that I feel like crap. Because I was rejected, because it was without any explanation, and because it was so sudden. I really let my guard down (toooo fast) and really thought my life was about to improve in so many ways now that I had someone to stimulate me intellectually and emotionally - fantasy? Probably. But it was wonderful and heady for that first week.
Now I know I have to be on this road to recovery again. I *hate* this part, I feel whiney and helpless and hopeless. Occasionally I feel OK but I don't have the energy to be particurly productive.
I was hoping I would write this out so as to get some of it out of my head - hopefully it'll help.
I'm right now trying to get this girl Jill out of my head. She wanted me, she totally seduced me, she had a crush on me, i was stuck in her head, she was giddy at finally getting to meet me in person, and.... after 2 days with her I told her I loved her which was totally too fast and scary for her...but after actually having sex with me, she "freaked out". I got one text telling me that she thought I was amazing, but that she was freaked out. We talked a little Tuesday night via skype video chatting - in which see seemed really uncomfortable, mentioned that we were "Friends" once. She was interrupted by some friends coming over, I got a "sorry, friends came over, we'll talk tomorrow" text, and ..... that was it.
I don't even feel like telling the whole story, I just want to complain that I feel like crap. Because I was rejected, because it was without any explanation, and because it was so sudden. I really let my guard down (toooo fast) and really thought my life was about to improve in so many ways now that I had someone to stimulate me intellectually and emotionally - fantasy? Probably. But it was wonderful and heady for that first week.
Now I know I have to be on this road to recovery again. I *hate* this part, I feel whiney and helpless and hopeless. Occasionally I feel OK but I don't have the energy to be particurly productive.
I was hoping I would write this out so as to get some of it out of my head - hopefully it'll help.