(no subject)
I have a vision of myself wearing boxers and running straight out of this guy's appartment and into the gutters. My anxiety is on 'HIGH' throughout the dreams I have in his bed. But they're usually when I'm most inspired.
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I've written a prayer on the small of my hand. It's a dot. A dot - a precise locus in space. I taught one of my kids this at tutoring. I'm so fucked up. I'm so alone. I embrace it more each day but it still sucks.
I'm now memorizing New Mexico history. My novel is moving at a snail's space. Jesus, let me quit life and write. It's all I want to do for days. and days and days.
Clovis. Native Americans. Many of them. Whites. Crashing in.
I'm envisioning I wake up brave tomorrow. Full of hope and without fear. Well, without complete fear. Fierce. Completely fierce. I cancel dates, forget phone numbers, don't answer texts. I'm 24 soon. I can't even believe it. I'm terrified.
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I've written a prayer on the small of my hand. It's a dot. A dot - a precise locus in space. I taught one of my kids this at tutoring. I'm so fucked up. I'm so alone. I embrace it more each day but it still sucks.
I'm now memorizing New Mexico history. My novel is moving at a snail's space. Jesus, let me quit life and write. It's all I want to do for days. and days and days.
Clovis. Native Americans. Many of them. Whites. Crashing in.
I'm envisioning I wake up brave tomorrow. Full of hope and without fear. Well, without complete fear. Fierce. Completely fierce. I cancel dates, forget phone numbers, don't answer texts. I'm 24 soon. I can't even believe it. I'm terrified.