feet on faulty patchwork paths / never knowing where to stand.
we walked through the park as sadness strode our steps over dead leaves and broken branches. trying not to trip over our words we walked in silence, muttering a few nothings every now and then to keep up with our tired footsteps.
i looked at her as the sun shone on her face that hadn't changed at all since we were kids and she looked away. her face was the same but something deep within her had been changed. i went for her hand as lovers do when they're afraid and she pulled it away.
"i just don't like to be touched anymore." the once tender flesh of her arms and hands now made of ice.
the crisp, clean country air felt polluted with sadness and even the saturday morning dogwalkers were breathing it in, although i couldn't pick my head up to notice.
i couldn't even get myself off the goodwill couch that morning. i kept closing my eyes and envisioning every possible escape route; from the front door to the second story window.
i wondered who was going to be responsible for this mistake. i couldn't point the blame at her.
"i'm not trying to break your heart." why did i only half believe her then?
she had distanced herself from me once before in an attempt to save me from the turbulent whirlpool of her life. i felt the love she had for me and knew she didn't want me to get hopelessly sucked in.
this time i felt myself pulling the wool over my own eyes to blind myself from the truth i was seeking.
we walked until the path ran out of gravel and made a right off into the woods. she had shown this place to a former lover but now the forest had grown over the patch of land and it was no longer the same place his poor blue eyes had seen. the earth had changed as much as we had. there was in incongruence growing between our lives and i knew then that we were trying to jam together two pieces of a puzzle that weren't supposed to fit.
the river bed was the final resting place for a tree that had been dead for ages. we perched ourselves on it like wingless birds, picking at the termites that were burrowing themselves into it.
there had been others in her life, but i was the first. we would fight sleep all night to declare our love for each other in hushed tones over telephones. i waited eternities to be near her, but when the day finally came, i was too late. with her heart and mind now ravaged by loneliness and fear, i felt that she had forgotten how to love. on that sideways tree in the middle of the river, i felt myself brave enough to incite the spontaneous recovery but those moments in a southern state were insufficient time to perform such a miracle.
i looked at her as the sun shone on her face that hadn't changed at all since we were kids and she looked away. her face was the same but something deep within her had been changed. i went for her hand as lovers do when they're afraid and she pulled it away.
"i just don't like to be touched anymore." the once tender flesh of her arms and hands now made of ice.
the crisp, clean country air felt polluted with sadness and even the saturday morning dogwalkers were breathing it in, although i couldn't pick my head up to notice.
i couldn't even get myself off the goodwill couch that morning. i kept closing my eyes and envisioning every possible escape route; from the front door to the second story window.
i wondered who was going to be responsible for this mistake. i couldn't point the blame at her.
"i'm not trying to break your heart." why did i only half believe her then?
she had distanced herself from me once before in an attempt to save me from the turbulent whirlpool of her life. i felt the love she had for me and knew she didn't want me to get hopelessly sucked in.
this time i felt myself pulling the wool over my own eyes to blind myself from the truth i was seeking.
we walked until the path ran out of gravel and made a right off into the woods. she had shown this place to a former lover but now the forest had grown over the patch of land and it was no longer the same place his poor blue eyes had seen. the earth had changed as much as we had. there was in incongruence growing between our lives and i knew then that we were trying to jam together two pieces of a puzzle that weren't supposed to fit.
the river bed was the final resting place for a tree that had been dead for ages. we perched ourselves on it like wingless birds, picking at the termites that were burrowing themselves into it.
there had been others in her life, but i was the first. we would fight sleep all night to declare our love for each other in hushed tones over telephones. i waited eternities to be near her, but when the day finally came, i was too late. with her heart and mind now ravaged by loneliness and fear, i felt that she had forgotten how to love. on that sideways tree in the middle of the river, i felt myself brave enough to incite the spontaneous recovery but those moments in a southern state were insufficient time to perform such a miracle.