"I'm not excited with my life anymore.So I blame this town...,these friends,The truth is its myself"
I feel so insignificant, this life just seems so pointless. I often wonder if I just disappeared, if anyone would notice and if they did would they even care ?
" I jsut see myself as being invisible"..."But thats just entirely untrue" ha THATS HIGHLY UNLIKELY. Maybe I'm jsut mean to be taken advantage of, then neglected. Just take me for all that I've got at least it may temporarily supress this overpowering feeling of emptiness. I'll just come home and realize how incredibly blind Ive been and being overtaken by lonliness...keeping my sanity only by carving out this pain, I deserve all of this.
Its seems as if Im the only one in this world taht feels the way that I do, that my eyes project a picture so different than everyone else's. I wish i didnt look so strongly upon other for reassurance, why the hell do i feel that I was what everyone else wants me to be... I guess its just the acceptance that comes with the territory. I blame the fucked up media for this incredibly low self-esteem, and feel a sick sort of accomplishment when I can not eat for a week and keeping in my mind that I'll be thin enough whick = beauty.
I know this is just random bitching but this is the only way for me to get it out .