well
i made this post elsewhere and i liked the words. i'm going to recopy it here for a different audience.
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you know, i think this is the type of thing that could be in a journal entry, a diary, a love letter, or any other private medium-- but i personally love telling people about the way this woman makes me feel. i don't know what it is about the sharing and gushing and all that, but somehow having other people know about how my love makes me feel leaves me... breathless? that's the word.
i'm probably going to be a foolish prima donna here. i don't care, but i'm giving you fair warning now.
her name is rickina, and sometimes i just say the name to hear it, to feel it roll off my tongue. i've never heard the name before and its delicious exotic flavor makes me feel lucky. i have to repeat it to people and i love being able to say it more, visualizing her smile as i repeat those soft syllables.
hah, i'm a sap. like i said, get out now while you still can.
i met her through myspace, of all places, and i don't know if it was love at first sight but there was some sort of reaction. the name popped up on my friends request list and i added her as the first friend i hadn't known beforehand-- i read her profile and was floored by how awesome this girl was. she had a very similar sense of humor to mine and everything about her seemed to be what i was looking for, with her wit and intelligence and good musical taste. oh, and that picture of her with the glasses and bangs... cute! i still have one like it around here somewhere. i told my friend who was trying to set me up with someone else at the time "hey, but what about this girl? she seems really cool." he told me not to think about it, that this other girl was all that.
she wasn't.
the first comment rickina left me was "marry me, kthx." fate, i hope.
we started talking on aim. it wasn't long before it felt like we had known each other for years-- it was a natural fit and before long, through the encouraging of a mutual friend of ours, we professed our affection for each other. if it was in real life there probably would have been red cheeks, averted glances and swiveling feet on the pavement.
we talked more. i flew out and saw her. and i did it again. and i did it again. and now i'm going to visit her for the fourth time in as many months to see her graduate. it is stereotypical love in every way and i don't know what to say about it. i want to spend all my money and all my time and everything with this woman.
i try to explain how i feel sometimes, but it won't come out-- my eyes widen and my cheeks bulge and my lips purse but there aren't words to describe it and i end up looking like an idiot. when i type i try to be more articulate and usually i can catch some fleeting grasp of what i really want to say. it doesn't work out too well more often than not (and it is really impossible to encapsulate an all-encompassing happiness and need and want into words) but i attempt it anyways because even if a small sliver of my emotion makes her smile, i'll make that effort.
she is indescribable. the way she has that little smile or rolls her eyes or arches her back or squeezes my hand or breathes softly on my chest... the way she cheers me up even though she's hundreds of miles away, the way she pervades my thoughts at the least probable times just to leave me with a grin, the way my arms miss her body and my ears miss her voice. it is transcendentally blissful.
she brought me to this very site, you know. another thing i should thank her for. but there's far too much for me to say in one lifetime, so i tend to compress it all just for logistical reasons. i have to thank her for everything at once.
rickina, i love you.
---
you know, i think this is the type of thing that could be in a journal entry, a diary, a love letter, or any other private medium-- but i personally love telling people about the way this woman makes me feel. i don't know what it is about the sharing and gushing and all that, but somehow having other people know about how my love makes me feel leaves me... breathless? that's the word.
i'm probably going to be a foolish prima donna here. i don't care, but i'm giving you fair warning now.
her name is rickina, and sometimes i just say the name to hear it, to feel it roll off my tongue. i've never heard the name before and its delicious exotic flavor makes me feel lucky. i have to repeat it to people and i love being able to say it more, visualizing her smile as i repeat those soft syllables.
hah, i'm a sap. like i said, get out now while you still can.
i met her through myspace, of all places, and i don't know if it was love at first sight but there was some sort of reaction. the name popped up on my friends request list and i added her as the first friend i hadn't known beforehand-- i read her profile and was floored by how awesome this girl was. she had a very similar sense of humor to mine and everything about her seemed to be what i was looking for, with her wit and intelligence and good musical taste. oh, and that picture of her with the glasses and bangs... cute! i still have one like it around here somewhere. i told my friend who was trying to set me up with someone else at the time "hey, but what about this girl? she seems really cool." he told me not to think about it, that this other girl was all that.
she wasn't.
the first comment rickina left me was "marry me, kthx." fate, i hope.
we started talking on aim. it wasn't long before it felt like we had known each other for years-- it was a natural fit and before long, through the encouraging of a mutual friend of ours, we professed our affection for each other. if it was in real life there probably would have been red cheeks, averted glances and swiveling feet on the pavement.
we talked more. i flew out and saw her. and i did it again. and i did it again. and now i'm going to visit her for the fourth time in as many months to see her graduate. it is stereotypical love in every way and i don't know what to say about it. i want to spend all my money and all my time and everything with this woman.
i try to explain how i feel sometimes, but it won't come out-- my eyes widen and my cheeks bulge and my lips purse but there aren't words to describe it and i end up looking like an idiot. when i type i try to be more articulate and usually i can catch some fleeting grasp of what i really want to say. it doesn't work out too well more often than not (and it is really impossible to encapsulate an all-encompassing happiness and need and want into words) but i attempt it anyways because even if a small sliver of my emotion makes her smile, i'll make that effort.
she is indescribable. the way she has that little smile or rolls her eyes or arches her back or squeezes my hand or breathes softly on my chest... the way she cheers me up even though she's hundreds of miles away, the way she pervades my thoughts at the least probable times just to leave me with a grin, the way my arms miss her body and my ears miss her voice. it is transcendentally blissful.
she brought me to this very site, you know. another thing i should thank her for. but there's far too much for me to say in one lifetime, so i tend to compress it all just for logistical reasons. i have to thank her for everything at once.
rickina, i love you.