I create my own drama.
I hurt myself this time, but I'm glad I'v done it to myself before someone else has done it to me. I really need new people that havn't hurt me so bad that I can't stand thinking about them anymore. I really want to end this cycle of Ashley and Ryan because I'v relized no matter how much I like them, I can never make them like me the same back.
Today I felt sick and like I wanted to passout all day because of all the things that have happpened in the last month. I feel like I made a huge mistake of letting two people that I have cared alot for, for a very long time out of my life in that way but it was hurting me more stressing out that the next day; they might not like me. And even besides, I was hurt so much that I could never like eaither of them the way I did before because I was so afraid. It's just nice to get out of the never ending cylce, even if I feel like it was a mistake, and even if they are still on my mind alot. It just feels more refresing.
Life just doesn't rock the last few weeks and today my pictures airn't done and I might cry because I feel like I havn't seen anyone in a really long time.