(no subject)
today i had the day off. i realized that on my days off i wake up with this eager feeling. i jump out of bed early and drive around drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and waking up and calling people back and getting shit DONE. on days when i work i totally drag ass and hate life and hate my job and 99.9 percent of my coworkers and. i think it's time to quit but i'm scared. i'm scared of having a job where i don't make any money and that i hate just as much with worse hours. i remember when i worked at olive garden though. i had the same EXACT feeling and where did i end up? at a job with better hours and more money that i hated... just as much. i'm stuck. everyone tells me, the economy sucks, stay where you are but.
maybe this time i should listen. i'm just thinking and stuck, so very stuck. i feel trapped. like at times that job is my lifeline, to having my apartment, my car, my insurance and never stressing about money. but i loathe. every second i am alive and working there. maybe a more positive person would think, okay, the answer is school and education. and on my days off, that is the answer. but when i work i think, THIS PLUS school? and that just crumples me. this was the whiniest most annoying entry EVER. might delete it in ten seconds
if you can't tell my new theme here is no punctuation or trying to be cute or witty or any of the things i fail at being or doing most of the time. i am trying to figure out ways to find again the girl who i was in high school who had high standards and morals and ideas and hope. most people want to be who they were in high school in terms of being in shape, but i just
want to care a lot more about people and myself... me me me
i care about my friends and my family and that's all i know, or can do right now. for now it's enough.
maybe this time i should listen. i'm just thinking and stuck, so very stuck. i feel trapped. like at times that job is my lifeline, to having my apartment, my car, my insurance and never stressing about money. but i loathe. every second i am alive and working there. maybe a more positive person would think, okay, the answer is school and education. and on my days off, that is the answer. but when i work i think, THIS PLUS school? and that just crumples me. this was the whiniest most annoying entry EVER. might delete it in ten seconds
if you can't tell my new theme here is no punctuation or trying to be cute or witty or any of the things i fail at being or doing most of the time. i am trying to figure out ways to find again the girl who i was in high school who had high standards and morals and ideas and hope. most people want to be who they were in high school in terms of being in shape, but i just
want to care a lot more about people and myself... me me me
i care about my friends and my family and that's all i know, or can do right now. for now it's enough.