Ten things Fernando Torres has to look forward to by joining Chelsea, and we're not sure he's properly thought this through:
1. Introducing the missus to John Terry
2. Getting some friendly texts from Ashley Cole
3. Playing on the right-wing when 4-4-2 with Drogba doesn't work
4. Watching Only Fools and Horses with 'Lamps' and the lads
5. Getting 'Blue is the colour' tattooed on his arm
6. Getting booed after a home draw
7. Getting booed after a 1-0 home win
8. Reacquainting himself with Yossi Benayoun on the Stamford Bridge treatment table
9. Free trips on Roman's yacht
10. At long last, a stable environment, no wacky owners, and a long-term manager firmly in place. Oh, hang on...
Still fancy it...?
from hurr. WTF ARE YOU THINKING. UGH.