today..
today i feel like a part of me is gone.. robbie and i broke up.. i dont know what im doing anymore.. i feel like dying.. i just want to fall asleep and not wake up.. i dont want the medication i have to take.. i dont want to live in my life anymore.. it feels like its not worth it.. im tired of faking the smiles and acting okay.. its getting harder and harder to do.. i think im about to have a breakdown.. i just want to move away and meet all new people and find what i want to do in life.. well basically find myself.. idk who i am anymore.. ive lost myself completly.. i can honestly say i dont know who i am.. that is sad.. i mean how do you just loose yourself.. i dont even know what i think is fun anymore.. anything.. im just lost.. so lost.. ahhhhhh i know i can only play with the cards im dealt.. but it just doesnt seem right.. why am i constantly finding myself back in this position.. i feel like sleeping for a week untill i go see kim. i guess thats what ill do. bye