(no subject)

[_alarmclocks]

there was a boy who i met over 14 months ago. i was taking a bath the first time i ever held a conversation with him over the phone. he was drunk, but not plastered and kept talking about his step-dad's marble collection. even though my bath water was freezing, i did not want to get out because i wanted to keep talking to him. i think we talked for four hours every night for at least a week; i'm sure my phone company appreciated all of the extra money they raked in from our phone conversations. i told him i didn't want a boyfriend, but just someone to be with. The first night, second time i hung out with him, i fell asleep next to him, he tried to kiss me but i realized that's not what i wanted. i didn't want to lose this boy too quickly, i really wanted him to be in my life. lucky for me, he's been here ever since. But what happened to us? when did we stop having our four hour phone calls every night?

i want to meet the boy i met a year ago and i want to be the girl i was back then. i want to start things over again and see where things went wrong. who knows, i might have this entire story backwards. i just want to be us, not him and me with nothing but misery in between.