...I'm an asshole...

[_ajoyfulgirl_]

why do I feel like I'm not worth it...

and everything comes crashing down.
It rained a lot today... it's cold...
*lights up and watches the rain fall all around me*

I just want to be worth it.

I act like shit don't phase me.

*watches the rain. and smoke curl*

If my life were a movie, there would be a sunset...

I always had the conclusion that it was never meant for me to be happy..
It just never lasts long..
and you just wonder...
and wait.

I love her... she is everything I want... more than I ever wanted... she is perfect.I love her.
I didn't have to change for her...
and for the first time... I was happy...
and that scares me.
because she makes me happy.

Great things usually don't fall at your feet... you have to work for it...
I don't mind the distance... because your worth it...
I can handle myself.

so many thoughts are running through my head...
push myself up against the wall... and hold myself there... something solid... something real...
don't let go...
don't let me go.
don't walk away thinking youre doing the right thing.
don't let me fall.

why do things have to be so hard all the time...
always at the wrong place at the wrong time...
...I can't bear this nights of thoughts of going on without you...
I want to be your everything...
I want to make you happy... make you smile... make you proud...
I want to be worth it.

*goes for a walk*