I realized something last night.

[_ajoyfulgirl_]

it was like time stopped. you look around and everything is just so messed up. I knew then how much I really didn't want to be here.

I'm sorry and I just wanted to say that.

I hate seeing so much hurt in people's eyes.

I hate crying when it doesnt make you feel better afterwards. I don't feel better, maybe it was too soon.

I hate being analyzed. Like you have me all figured.

a lot of shit went down last night and it happened all around me.
The past found its way back again.
and I didn't like it.

Yesterday was a really bad day, followed by a really bad night.
Pissed isn't the right word, but it's the first word that comes to mind.

I'm not upset. I just wish things would be beter. and not just for me. for everyone. and I feel bad that it isn't. or maybe I just don't care. I don't know. It's just not fair.

and Rachel, I love you. not in a all up in your business kinda way but in a I just care about you kinda way. It makes me sad when you're sad. So be fucking Happy, it's not too much to ask. Heh.

I know.

Nikki, YOU'RE IT.
Welcome back guys.
I miss/love you.
plus 2.

and today is going to be such a great fucking day.
you have no idea.
I have to take nichole to work now.

much love