word to mr. teddy bear
absolute quiet. never in a city of lights, action, and sirens. i'm alone on a loft that reaches higher than i do for my dreams. the air wick click click clicks off a spray into the air. refreshed my room. refreshed my mind, yet i can't get my mind off the feeling of being so alone. only mr. teddy to grab a hold of a night when people scream in a language i don't understand outside my window. my bladder feels as heavy as my mind. any movement makes my stomach feel the massage of the urine moving around. i want to be here, i tell myself. then i add, you're crazy for talking to yourself. 5 seconds pass, i'm still not comfortable. i am wishing i could carry a conversation with someone. i wonder if my inability to be human sometimes is a factor. of course. my teeth begin to ache from the waring down of smoking and the fan hitting my gums with a cold breeze. there is a pain in my back that is slowly making its way up towards my neck. i will pay for this bad posture in the morning, and again in my 50s.