(no subject)
I
am
going
insane.
I can't stop thinking of food. The thinking has turned into eating and the eating has turned into 105lbs. I know it was only 3 pounds but it feels like a million. My stomach is huge. I am a failure. I am the fattest, ugliest, dumbest student at the U of A and I absolutely loathe myself right now.
I ate a piece of pumpkin bread earlier today which I am going to assume had like 500kcal in it. I haven't eaten since. Hopefully I won't eat any more today. And I'm fasting for the rest of the week on water and tea and NOTHING ELSE. Wish me luck. Hopefully this won't be one of those hundreds of things I've said I was going to do but never followed through with. Right now I hate myself too much to eat. But on the other hand, I'm depressed and of course my first impulse is to binge. It's this ongoing inner struggle and it has to stop.
I hate myself more than anyone else.
am
going
insane.
I can't stop thinking of food. The thinking has turned into eating and the eating has turned into 105lbs. I know it was only 3 pounds but it feels like a million. My stomach is huge. I am a failure. I am the fattest, ugliest, dumbest student at the U of A and I absolutely loathe myself right now.
I ate a piece of pumpkin bread earlier today which I am going to assume had like 500kcal in it. I haven't eaten since. Hopefully I won't eat any more today. And I'm fasting for the rest of the week on water and tea and NOTHING ELSE. Wish me luck. Hopefully this won't be one of those hundreds of things I've said I was going to do but never followed through with. Right now I hate myself too much to eat. But on the other hand, I'm depressed and of course my first impulse is to binge. It's this ongoing inner struggle and it has to stop.
I hate myself more than anyone else.