(no subject)
today was kind of interesting, i mean, nothing special but the kind of day that you're glad you experienced..not a waste or anything. we had a silent study in the library today, and since i never save homework to do and lynott didn't have a class that mod i picked out a book i haven't read in over a year and just sat down and read. i don't really like telling people what i read or what it's about, i guess i'm kind of selfesh in the respect that when i like something i don't necessarily want everyone else to like it too. maybe like i said i'm just selfesh, or maybe if i like it i'm just afraid to let people see those kinds of thoughts. obviously they're not mine, but i connected to them in some level, didn't i? and i don't really want everyone to know that..plus, sometimes i feel like they give me an insight on stuff other people might not have..and i know i should want to share stuff like that, but i don't. unless i see someone when i read it, really picture them, and then i tell them to read it too. wow, that was a complete waste of your time. but the point is, it was the bedroom eyes book, and when i was reading it, whoever borrowed it last had underlined those 2 sentences..and i went through the rest of the book and nothing else had been marked up, and i know it wasn't me. but there they were, jumping out of the page at me, underlined as more significant than any other part in the book & it completely gave me the chills. because if you're reading this, you might not believe me (and you don't have to), but i miss you. and i missed you a lot today, because even when i see you, i don't really. i see someone i don't really know anymore who offers me a quick nod and smile, like you would do to someone in your english class as you pass them in the hallways. and it's sad, because i don't know if it's because you don't know what to say, or if it's because you don't want to say anything at all. and you need to understand that my intent was never to hurt you, and you have no idea how sorry i am if i did. and then i stopped feeling sad for a moment because i thought about what tomorrow was, and it made me remember the legwarmers, and so i laughed. and i hope you still find that funny. and so i sort of thought of you when i read the rest of the book, not in any specific way, like connections to the characters or anything..because the main character, well he's pretty much a more developed version of me, someone i could become. in some respects. and so, since i thought of you, and i know you don't like to read, i'd be willing to share the book with you. maybe you'll understand me and my decision a little more if you read it? i really can't say for sure. but if you want to read it you can ask me sometime what it is. i just had to get that out. that's all for now, i may post again tomorrow.