Why so glum, chum?
This entry will contain a lot of pissing and moaning about how shitty I feel and how things SUCK at this moment.
I'll get you caught up on the good stuff here.
2 Saturdays ago this super how girls comes into my store at around 10pm and starts flirting with me, which is normal. Then she asks me some questions, takes my phone number, then kisses me. Less then a minute later she comes back into the store walks around the counter and starts giving me some serious lip action. It was flippin how I tell ya. Anyway needless to say she never called...not that I'm surprised but you know...I had a wee bit of hope for about 1 day.
Anyway.
It's been soooo long since I've done a proper update, so I'll start from 2 Fridays ago which was the Front 242 show.
All I wanted to do that night was dose out on some E and dance like a retard all night. Seeing as I was ultra broke that soon started to look like a non-happening event. Luckily for me Auntie Joan shows up with some MDMA or as the kids call it these days, PUD. I love when Auntie Joan starts to party because she starts to just give you drugs. Not a very smart move for a dealer but it's not like I'm going to turn down free drugs because I don't agree with the way she does 'business'. So I end up doing 3 fair sized bumps over the course of an hour and then we head out to the show. This PUD is awesome. No jaw clenching. No vomiting(I usually have vomit or upset stomach issues with E).
The show was pretty awesome. The last time I saw them was 8 years ago at the Opera House during their re:BOOT tour. Which kicked ass. For that tour they had basically taken all their fav and our fav songs and changed all the sounds and such to give it a more 'rave' sound. More happy sounds and a lighter mood.
This time out they did the same thing but kinda different. Gone were the happy sounds and back were the crazy frequencies, dirty sounds, and aggressive fuck your face tones and beats. Obviously I was a happy camper. The only issue I had was that they played way too much of their 'old' songs. By old I mean early 80's EBM. Which even though it's cheesy is still pretty cool. The plus side was that they took these songs and reworked them , a la re:BOOT styles, but instead of going the happy route they used the above mentioned crazy sounds. This was more like the Front 242 of the Up Evil and Off years. There were a few times I thought my chest would cave in from the ultra crazy bass, or my ears might start to drip blood due to the frequencies....HEAVEN I tells ya.
I'll put all the crap behind a cut so you don't have to see it if you don't want
This is the part of the entry where I get all lame and start to sound like some teenager.
Last Sunday, not last night, the one before that. I was hanging out with the super skinny girl "K.T" and we watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at her place. To tell you the truth I can't even begin to count the number of times I wanted to lean over and feel her lips against mine.
Why am I so into her?
Anyway, cut to last night. She comes into the store and just as she's about to leave I walk up to her and make my confession. I had it all worked out in my head, what I was going to say, then when I started to talk it just vanished and I just kinda started to blab. I told her how it's next to impossible for me to be alone with her in private and not have these urges. She once again told me that she's seeing someone and drops in that they only see each other like twice a year, that she appreciates my honesty and ability to tell her things like that up front, and also that she really really likes hanging out with me. She also mentions that she will be seeing the 'boy' when she goes to Mexico to visit her father in a couple weeks. So we agree to keep our hanging out moments in a public setting.
Before she mentioned the keeping thing in public she asked if these feelings I have meant that we couldn't hang out anymore, and she had a very sad sound in her voice. This is all so confusing.
I know when she see's the 'boy' everything is going to be puppy dogs and rainbows. I mean if you are in a long distance relationship chances are you REALLY REALLY like the person, or else what's the point. It's not like they are going to see each other and be all like, hey this isn't working let's just end it. I know damn well that if I were in a distance relationship, when I finally get to see her I'd want to spend most of our time having some serious sex action.
Point being. I don't have a very optimistic outlook on any possible getting together with her.
Actually I don't have a very optimistic outlook on anything. Oh how I wish I could be an optimist.
I've been feeling very lonely lately and such miss having a gf. It's not even the sex that makes me want a gf, seeing as I get some action once a week as it is. I miss having that someone to talk to and share my dreams and fears with. Someone I can hold close at night while we sleep. Someone that makes me feel as though all this shit is worth it.
UGH this is all mushy and lame ass sounding. I'm gonna end this now before I make you sick and I make myself cry.
I'm also putting together, for myself, a two year plan that will begin in January. I will mention nothing of what makes up this plan for fear that it will become jinxed.
Until next time.
I'll get you caught up on the good stuff here.
2 Saturdays ago this super how girls comes into my store at around 10pm and starts flirting with me, which is normal. Then she asks me some questions, takes my phone number, then kisses me. Less then a minute later she comes back into the store walks around the counter and starts giving me some serious lip action. It was flippin how I tell ya. Anyway needless to say she never called...not that I'm surprised but you know...I had a wee bit of hope for about 1 day.
Anyway.
It's been soooo long since I've done a proper update, so I'll start from 2 Fridays ago which was the Front 242 show.
All I wanted to do that night was dose out on some E and dance like a retard all night. Seeing as I was ultra broke that soon started to look like a non-happening event. Luckily for me Auntie Joan shows up with some MDMA or as the kids call it these days, PUD. I love when Auntie Joan starts to party because she starts to just give you drugs. Not a very smart move for a dealer but it's not like I'm going to turn down free drugs because I don't agree with the way she does 'business'. So I end up doing 3 fair sized bumps over the course of an hour and then we head out to the show. This PUD is awesome. No jaw clenching. No vomiting(I usually have vomit or upset stomach issues with E).
The show was pretty awesome. The last time I saw them was 8 years ago at the Opera House during their re:BOOT tour. Which kicked ass. For that tour they had basically taken all their fav and our fav songs and changed all the sounds and such to give it a more 'rave' sound. More happy sounds and a lighter mood.
This time out they did the same thing but kinda different. Gone were the happy sounds and back were the crazy frequencies, dirty sounds, and aggressive fuck your face tones and beats. Obviously I was a happy camper. The only issue I had was that they played way too much of their 'old' songs. By old I mean early 80's EBM. Which even though it's cheesy is still pretty cool. The plus side was that they took these songs and reworked them , a la re:BOOT styles, but instead of going the happy route they used the above mentioned crazy sounds. This was more like the Front 242 of the Up Evil and Off years. There were a few times I thought my chest would cave in from the ultra crazy bass, or my ears might start to drip blood due to the frequencies....HEAVEN I tells ya.
I'll put all the crap behind a cut so you don't have to see it if you don't want
This is the part of the entry where I get all lame and start to sound like some teenager.
Last Sunday, not last night, the one before that. I was hanging out with the super skinny girl "K.T" and we watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at her place. To tell you the truth I can't even begin to count the number of times I wanted to lean over and feel her lips against mine.
Why am I so into her?
Anyway, cut to last night. She comes into the store and just as she's about to leave I walk up to her and make my confession. I had it all worked out in my head, what I was going to say, then when I started to talk it just vanished and I just kinda started to blab. I told her how it's next to impossible for me to be alone with her in private and not have these urges. She once again told me that she's seeing someone and drops in that they only see each other like twice a year, that she appreciates my honesty and ability to tell her things like that up front, and also that she really really likes hanging out with me. She also mentions that she will be seeing the 'boy' when she goes to Mexico to visit her father in a couple weeks. So we agree to keep our hanging out moments in a public setting.
Before she mentioned the keeping thing in public she asked if these feelings I have meant that we couldn't hang out anymore, and she had a very sad sound in her voice. This is all so confusing.
I know when she see's the 'boy' everything is going to be puppy dogs and rainbows. I mean if you are in a long distance relationship chances are you REALLY REALLY like the person, or else what's the point. It's not like they are going to see each other and be all like, hey this isn't working let's just end it. I know damn well that if I were in a distance relationship, when I finally get to see her I'd want to spend most of our time having some serious sex action.
Point being. I don't have a very optimistic outlook on any possible getting together with her.
Actually I don't have a very optimistic outlook on anything. Oh how I wish I could be an optimist.
I've been feeling very lonely lately and such miss having a gf. It's not even the sex that makes me want a gf, seeing as I get some action once a week as it is. I miss having that someone to talk to and share my dreams and fears with. Someone I can hold close at night while we sleep. Someone that makes me feel as though all this shit is worth it.
UGH this is all mushy and lame ass sounding. I'm gonna end this now before I make you sick and I make myself cry.
I'm also putting together, for myself, a two year plan that will begin in January. I will mention nothing of what makes up this plan for fear that it will become jinxed.
Until next time.