(no subject)
Constant. Daunting. Haunting.
Tired. Wired. Higher.
Long. Unending. Dead-ending.
Well, end of day two of my senior year of college and what has it taught me?
It taught me that this was a fucked up time to be a journalists. It taught me no matter how hard to try, I make mistakes, forget shit and can't keep my FUCKING HEAD ON STRAIGHT.
I got four hours of sleep last night. I woke up twice crying. Thinking about everything I'm missing, everything I missed and everything I have to do to make sure I can even be considered for a fucking job sometime in the near future.
I thought my summer was bad. Three jobs: NUVO internship, Burris janitor job and the Daily News, but fuck if I was wrong.
This semester my skills will improve, this semester I'll be fully immersed in media, this semester will lose myself and everything that makes me happy.
I really hate my life (as of today) and if I have to spend that life, the only one I have and the one that I chose, at the fucking newspapers I'm going to go crazy or give up completely.
Apathy. Loathing. Jealousy.
The worst thing?
I brought it all on my self. I took the position and I'm not a quitter, literally it's physically impossible, so that wont happen.
What will happen?
My senior year is fucked. I can't see my family, friends, or boyfriend, yeah that is a whole other story.
What did I gain in college?
Nothing any regular college kid gained. I worked my ass off and like always no one ever gives a shit.
I WORKED MY ASS OFF AND NO ONE GAVE A SHIT.
Tired. Wired. Higher.
Long. Unending. Dead-ending.
Well, end of day two of my senior year of college and what has it taught me?
It taught me that this was a fucked up time to be a journalists. It taught me no matter how hard to try, I make mistakes, forget shit and can't keep my FUCKING HEAD ON STRAIGHT.
I got four hours of sleep last night. I woke up twice crying. Thinking about everything I'm missing, everything I missed and everything I have to do to make sure I can even be considered for a fucking job sometime in the near future.
I thought my summer was bad. Three jobs: NUVO internship, Burris janitor job and the Daily News, but fuck if I was wrong.
This semester my skills will improve, this semester I'll be fully immersed in media, this semester will lose myself and everything that makes me happy.
I really hate my life (as of today) and if I have to spend that life, the only one I have and the one that I chose, at the fucking newspapers I'm going to go crazy or give up completely.
Apathy. Loathing. Jealousy.
The worst thing?
I brought it all on my self. I took the position and I'm not a quitter, literally it's physically impossible, so that wont happen.
What will happen?
My senior year is fucked. I can't see my family, friends, or boyfriend, yeah that is a whole other story.
What did I gain in college?
Nothing any regular college kid gained. I worked my ass off and like always no one ever gives a shit.
I WORKED MY ASS OFF AND NO ONE GAVE A SHIT.