REAL ENTRY.
I love how I only write when I'm in a hole this deep. It's really cute of me.
I wish i could properly articulate what my life has come to you know? It feels like each day i'm trying just a little less to see my friends, to make an effort.
Because deep down I know you all want to be rid of me. That's fine, I'm okay with it. I'm beginning to feel something inside of me growing like a mold overnight when no one's watching. It's something like a comfort in being a recluse, something like I haven't tasted outside air is so long and i'm A.O.K. with it. something like pass the liqour because after i drink this vodka i'm going to smash the bottle over my face. An ambulance ride is going to be my only ticket out of this joint. I know it! Brilliant. I hope you're all okay with your last vision of me being an all glass no teeth smiling (CRAIG), I hope that's okay my gravestone will say "Well, you lost interest & that's fine, we all do, but for chrissakes couldn't've you have at least told him so he wouldn't've been going fucking mental at his house all alone tugging his hair out flatironing all day even though he's not going to see anyone because no one called putting on makeup for no one? Yeah i think you could've managed that"
I wish this entry wasn't so dreary, i'm really sorry about that.
What's interesting to me is to watch my evolution from boy to non functioning machine.
I find comfort in chaos, I find comfort in nosebleeds, I find jesus in vomit.
and you probably think i'm just being cute and poetic
but i'm fucking serious.
I wish i could properly articulate what my life has come to you know? It feels like each day i'm trying just a little less to see my friends, to make an effort.
Because deep down I know you all want to be rid of me. That's fine, I'm okay with it. I'm beginning to feel something inside of me growing like a mold overnight when no one's watching. It's something like a comfort in being a recluse, something like I haven't tasted outside air is so long and i'm A.O.K. with it. something like pass the liqour because after i drink this vodka i'm going to smash the bottle over my face. An ambulance ride is going to be my only ticket out of this joint. I know it! Brilliant. I hope you're all okay with your last vision of me being an all glass no teeth smiling (CRAIG), I hope that's okay my gravestone will say "Well, you lost interest & that's fine, we all do, but for chrissakes couldn't've you have at least told him so he wouldn't've been going fucking mental at his house all alone tugging his hair out flatironing all day even though he's not going to see anyone because no one called putting on makeup for no one? Yeah i think you could've managed that"
I wish this entry wasn't so dreary, i'm really sorry about that.
What's interesting to me is to watch my evolution from boy to non functioning machine.
I find comfort in chaos, I find comfort in nosebleeds, I find jesus in vomit.
and you probably think i'm just being cute and poetic
but i'm fucking serious.