I'm surprised at how much I enjoyed reading that. As someone who struggled with an eating disorder throughout highschool, your details and insights to the whole mess makes me wonder if you are or have been through the same thing. They are very on key, in such a sad way.
The idea that it was Draco--a male--with the disorder is definatly an original one. People forget so often that boys have body image problems, too. At first I was determined that it was Hermoine that was speaking, but was then pleasantly surpised. Very good. It's nice to see someone showing that aspect of it all.
I've flirted with EDs before, and we've broken up for the time being. I do have previous experience with it (on a very shallow level, though) and I used the background knowledge in writing it. Thank you.
Lol, Hermione? Ooh, Draco's inner voice sounds like Hermione; I should inform him about that. (The characters... they speak to me... ¬_¬)
Heh. It's not that I didn't expect it to be good, I was just thinking "ugh...HP fanfiction...", which is hypocritical cos I write Invader Zim fics to work on my dialoge and stuff myself (by the way, do you have an FFN account? If not, you should, you can get alot of good feedback there, as well). But normally I try not to read that stuff cos I'm not familiar enough with the characters (I've only read the first few books and that was years ago...) or the plot to really understand. But you were able to go about it without the reader needeing to know too much about the series and still have it be effective, which is one of the things I really liked
( ... )
Heh, I'm just too lazy to create my own worlds, so I borrow. XD Yeah I have a ff.net account - 'Sultrie' (<-- don't look, please, I'm ashamed of some of the stuff on there!). I thought 4st 7lb was my most polished work thus far (maybe it's just because I like it so much, for some reason) and so I edited and posted it.
Yeah, I can see what you mean. Most fics concerning EDs involve females, but I must recommend Shamera's 'Perception of Self' (FFN) - it's so much more detailed than mine... Sigh.
Sure... I don't talk back... -more shifty eyes- (Drakkie, she's suspicious now... you should hide for the time being.)
ED never gave me his number in the first place - he just dropped by randomly and demanded I flush away all the food in the house. The last time he did that, I kneed him in the crotch. I don't think he'll be coming back any more... -content- Oreos are the best things ever.
this is incredibleslashfairyJanuary 29 2005, 01:09:36 UTC
There are a couple typos, nothing big, and a few places the writing could be a little tighter (though I like my writing wound tight as a rubber band ready to snap, so my evaluation is coloured by that) but over all-magnificent. Do you have personal experience with anorexia and bulimia? Because you have captured it so clearly, the voices, the moment it flips from 'My mother is insane' to 'Yes, mum,you're right', the giving up of all caring except for the goal. I cried.
Tighter, tighter, yes. Point something out to me, please? -hopeful-
You, I do have some personal experience. I've purged before, and I do get all upset whenever I gain a bit of weight. I've never gotten really far into it, not as far as Draco, so I was a little concerned about that.
*sorry I haven't replied in ages... I've been so busy*
I really enjoyed this (not in the 'that was a fun read' sense) but i just liked the way it flowed in somewhat of a downward spiral of the protagonist. Also, the general way in which you choose words and how readable it was.
The minor typo's aren't an issue, I can write a sentance without them.
I'd write a longer critique but most of what i wanted to say has been said above. So you get a yes
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The idea that it was Draco--a male--with the disorder is definatly an original one. People forget so often that boys have body image problems, too. At first I was determined that it was Hermoine that was speaking, but was then pleasantly surpised. Very good. It's nice to see someone showing that aspect of it all.
All in all I give you a resounding YES.
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I've flirted with EDs before, and we've broken up for the time being. I do have previous experience with it (on a very shallow level, though) and I used the background knowledge in writing it. Thank you.
Lol, Hermione? Ooh, Draco's inner voice sounds like Hermione; I should inform him about that. (The characters... they speak to me... ¬_¬)
Again, thank you. <3
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Yeah, I can see what you mean. Most fics concerning EDs involve females, but I must recommend Shamera's 'Perception of Self' (FFN) - it's so much more detailed than mine... Sigh.
Sure... I don't talk back... -more shifty eyes- (Drakkie, she's suspicious now... you should hide for the time being.)
ED never gave me his number in the first place - he just dropped by randomly and demanded I flush away all the food in the house. The last time he did that, I kneed him in the crotch. I don't think he'll be coming back any more... -content- Oreos are the best things ever.
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Do you have personal experience with anorexia and bulimia? Because you have captured it so clearly, the voices, the moment it flips from 'My mother is insane' to 'Yes, mum,you're right', the giving up of all caring except for the goal.
I cried.
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Tighter, tighter, yes. Point something out to me, please? -hopeful-
You, I do have some personal experience. I've purged before, and I do get all upset whenever I gain a bit of weight. I've never gotten really far into it, not as far as Draco, so I was a little concerned about that.
-hands over tissues- Want a cyber cookie? (::)?
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"This discipline’s so rare so please applaud
Just look at the fat scum who pamper me so"
I think that was supposed to be italicized.
Yes.
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I really enjoyed this (not in the 'that was a fun read' sense) but i just liked the way it flowed in somewhat of a downward spiral of the protagonist.
Also, the general way in which you choose words and how readable it was.
The minor typo's aren't an issue, I can write a sentance without them.
I'd write a longer critique but most of what i wanted to say has been said above. So you get a yes
Peace...
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